I hope life is treating you kindly, I sincerely hope that your friends are treating you kindly too.
Weird thing to say right?
Well, under normal circumstances, (whatever they are), I would think it was weird but after a really dreadful visit from a long time friend on Thursday just gone I am beginning to wonder if I ever knew her at all.
I haven’t seen this particular friend more than 3 times since 2020 lockdown happened and I had my attempt at dying from sepsis thing at the beginning of the lockdown. She lives in the same village as me, although we are far enough apart we can go weeks without bumping into each other. We have been friends for 25 years. Or at least I thought we were…
Anyway, she turned up on Thursday morning and immediately she sat down, she rushed to tell me all about her life, how she is on a short waiting list to have her hips replaced, wondered why I hadn’t had the same treatment for my knees? Oh I see, just a little jibe there, just a tad too gloating for me, she is pointing out that she is worse off than me. Okay, who the fuck cares? Let’s face it if things come down to who is suffering more, I would rather be glad that it wasn’t me. I sure as hell wouldn’t want to rub my friend’s nose in the fact I was getting seen much more quickly than they are, meh, It is what it is. I honestly couldn’t give a flying fuck right now…
So after her 15 minute download of every single comma, full stop, exclamation mark of the entire conversation with her hip specialist she finally got around to asking how my son was. As you know he is still in hospital and actually on Thursday last week he had taken a downward turn and was not doing well at all. Unfortunately for him, he has no sensation, so his body is doing one thing, as in behaving really fucking badly right now and his brain is doing something entirely different and telling him he is absolutely fine and he should be at home getting on with his life and picking things back up again.
I said this to her, I said, he just wants to come home now, he’s had enough of being in hospital just sitting in a hospital bed playing mindless games on his iPad and avoiding talking to cranky old geezers in the beds facing him.
Her response floored me, and I quote, ‘He needs to get over himself, he’s not doing anything different to what he does at home, so what difference does it make where he is?’
Wow! I never realised how little she understood or knew about my son, whom she has known for 25 years. How she has the nerve to sit in judgement of his lifestyle is beyond me, she has never worked a day in the last 25 years nor has her husband. They have sat at home and played computer games and been armchair twitter trolls who mud sling at anyone who is different to them, as in anyone who happens to be religious. That should have told me I suppose, but I have a disconnect regarding their online activity as I don’t follow either of them, I just get told when she thinks she has said something cutting and oh so clever.
How did she miss the fact that he is out of the house daily, going on a two mile push in his wheelchair so he can give his dog a good run every day? How did she miss the thousands of photographs he has taken and has shown her when she used to call round prior to 2020? How did she miss the conversations he’s had where he’s said he wants to create a book of his photographs showing life in pictures from the vantage point of a wheelchair user.
How has she forgotten that he played wheelchair basketball for 15 years culminating in a victorious International career playing for his country? She was sat facing his huge cabinet of sporting trophies and accolades ffs. How is it possible that she could think he sits around all day doing fuck all with his life so it doesn’t matter where he does it? Either at home or in hospital attached to drips and machines?
I am now sitting facing this woman wondering who the fuck I have called friend for a quarter of a century. Her dismissive and derisive attitude towards my son has been flying very low beneath the radar. I never picked up on it before. I am absolutely furious, how dare she sit in judgement of my son? Jesus, he’s currently in hospital fighting for his life, his infections were raging on Thursday, they are stable again now (Tuesday) but it has been a hell of a long 6 days from where he was to where he is right now, and there is no guarantee he will stay stable at this point.
I asked her to leave. She doesn’t understand why I am upset with her and told me I wasn’t thinking clearly because I was worrying about him. She said she would come back in a few days to discuss things calmly with me.
Good luck with that… I am currently not taking prisoners, I am only leaving dead bodies in my wake.