Oh wow, I had no idea!

So, as I sit here waiting and wondering when my hitherto unknown about spanking from Graham will take place, I thought I could use the time to tell you about the huge surprise I found in the formerly named garden shed/workshop. Now renamed my Punishment & Pleasure Palace.

Besides, its my palace, I can call it what I want! I just won’t be saying it out loud any time too soon. There are some things best kept to oneself!

Anyway, last week, after my very severe and painfully hot spanking I decided I needed to actually sort my life out and get stuff done for once. It was all well and good making these task lists, but if I wasn’t completing them so I could have a spanking, I might as well just bend over permanently and spank myself without reason. I wasn’t even being lazy anymore, I was wilfully ignoring the larger tasks because they carried a heavier punishment. I needed to bring things back under some control. My first order of the day was to sort the shed out and rid myself of my ex-husband’s belongings that he had left behind.

I am very methodical once I start a task, I sorted and stacked into separate piles stuff that was saleable, stuff that was charity shop, stuff I wanted or needed to keep, (very small pile here) and stuff for the tip. Even the sun shined for me, so I could crack on with it and put everything outside on the decking.

By mid afternoon I was almost done, just a pile of stuff shoved right to the back under a huge workbench that needed to be removed and I could start cleaning and then painting. I was never going to need a bench that was that heavy duty and I had already installed newer benches along the back side of the wall. This one was coming out! It was the last reminder of my ex and I wanted it gone. I unscrewed the top and worked at it until it came away, good piece of wood that may come in useful at some point so I stored it outside. Likewise for the under shelf and legs. Solid wood is expensive to buy and can be reused for a variety of jobs. I love working with wood and upcycle wherever possible. A long black box covered in sawdust and cobwebs was pushed right up into the corner of the shed, essentially out of sight. I had never seen it before that was for sure. He had never asked for it, so I can only assume even he had forgotten where he had stashed it.

I pulled it outside and popped the lid. Oh my god! It was full of dildos still in their original sealed packaging, you know the kind, where you have to cut the clear hard plastic away to get at the contents. No cutting gone on here. These were virgin dildos and they were absolutely HUGE! One had a girth on it that was so fat it made my eyes water just thinking about what it was intended for! It was roughly 7″ long and the girth on it made me gulp. Jesus, you would have to be brave to use that!

I picked up another dildo still in its packaging and this one was 10″ long! Very life like too! There were numerous different shapes, colours and sizes of dildos and butt plugs all still unopened and all shoved in this long black box. He must have spent an absolute fortune on them! He couldn’t possibly have bought them for the two of us to play with, because as I said previously, he would much rather not actually! Creep!

I piled all the toys in the keep pile, would be a shame to waste such a huge gift now wouldn’t it? My day had perked up no end I can tell you!

I pulled out BDSM straps and belts, whips and ankle bracelets, chains, nipple clamps, (evil looking sawtooth nasty little things!) and a box that said it had a mixer in it.

I lifted the box and opened it gingerly, hmm, what a shame it was empty. Nevermind, with the sex toy haul I had found, I considered it to be a good day!

I cleaned and then painted the inside of the shed a pale cream colour to get rid of the ugly orange walls, I cleaned the four windows and then I set about getting rid of the piles of stuff. I was absolutely knackered!

Now, I am not a user of dildos generally. I prefer my womanizer, it’s much less invasive and I get the same result without all the fuss, (I know, I know, but you have to remember who I was married to! He of the ‘I would much rather not, actually,’ statement!) but oh my, these were very tempting. Regardless I was very well behaved that day and didn’t get sucked in by them and I put them away in the spare room for now.

There was also the added mitigating issue of he preferred to play with blokes! That instantly put me off exploring the dildos and butt plugs I can tell you. Then I remembered none of them had ever been opened or taken from the packet! I still wasn’t sure about them though.

My pleasure palace was shaping up quite nicely and I had deflated and cleaned the hot tub ready to move it insitu the following day. I had earned a nice hot shower, a glass of wine and a couple of hours with my feet up.

Two days later, a man came to my door with a parcel for my ex. He looked surprised when I told him he didn’t live here anymore and hadn’t for a few years!

He looked uncertain for a minute and then he held out the box. ‘Could you pass this on to him for me please and tell him Steve said thanks mate, it was fantastic! Sorry it’s taken so long to give it back but he said we could keep it as long as we wanted. Anyway, we’ve finally invested in one of our own now!’ He thrust the box into my hands and literally ran up the drive shouting cheers as he went.

I came back inside and closed the door. I don’t care what was in this box, it was never getting to fuck face (my pet name for my ex) via me. I had closed that nasty little part of my life and I wasn’t about to re-open it to do him a favour.

I carried the box into the kitchen and sat down at the table with it. It wasn’t sealed up, it just had the flaps folded inside each other. So I opened it. Placed on the surface of the contents was a hand written note that read, ‘Hey Don, thanks for the loan of the spanking machine it was absolutely fantastic! The wife loves it so much I bought her one of her own. She has a very spanked arse constantly these days! Cheers mate. Happy spanking!’

My head exploded.

My ex was into spanking? He had a fucking spanking machine? HOW THE FUCK HAD I NOT KNOWN THIS? First of all I was angry, first the secret sex toy shop down the shed and now a spanking machine? It just didn’t compute at all. He was so fucking buttoned up the whole time he was with me, when did he ever do any of this? Why didn’t he try and spank me? We could have been having a brilliant time the whole time we were married! And then the penny dropped, he wasn’t a spanker, he was a spanko. The machine was so he could get a spanking! What were the odds? Both of us shared the same kink, and neither of us knew about it!

It took literally 3 hours for the other penny to drop you know, that was a slow descender for sure. But it got there in the end, and it was a real Ker-ching! moment!
I was now the proud owner of a Spanking Machine complete with instructions!

Well, fuck me! Christmas had come early! I lifted it out of the box and followed the instructions to set it up, I got a wooden spoon out of the drawer and slotted it into place and then I watched that puppy go to work when I switched it on!

OH MY GOD! I could get a real spanking without having to do it myself! This was epic and a real game changer. It was very noisy though and I was sure my neighbours would hear that thwacking sound it made, it was very obvious what it was doing if you listened properly, plus it would be landing spanks which are noisy anyway. That was when the idea came to me, it could be set up in the pleasure palace and I could use it while the jets were on or the music. No one would hear it down the garden and even if they did they would just think I was working on something in the shed. So, that was how my pleasure palace got its name changed to Punishment and Pleasure Palace.

I am now the proud owner of a genuine spanking machine! I couldn’t make this shit up, no one would believe me anyway, and I haven’t stopped grinning for days! I can’t wait to try it out, but I am being on my best behaviour this week and have denied myself even the smallest spank until the weekend.

Graham happened before that weekend came around, and so I’m sitting here wondering what the hell it was I signed up for with him the other night. I also wondered whether he would actually remember his little note.

He did…