An explanation (of sorts) and a shock!

My bottom has calmed down a little from last night and is now sporting some wild welt bruising and cane stripes. If Graham hadn’t been so angry I would have enjoyed that spanking last night, it may sound very severe, and he may have sounded very aggressive but I can assure you, this stuff had all been hashed out properly during our first conversations and then later reiterated because we were both drunk that first night. We have discussed at length how hard a spanking I could take and also how hard I wanted to take, the two do differ.

I have over the past few months realised that my spankings have become longer, harder and a lot more involved. We discussed how far he can go both verbally and physically, and what implements I could take. How long I would be able to sustain a belting, a caning, a hand spanking, a hard moulded spatula spanking, a paddling with the wooden hairbrush, a leather strapping, different from a belt, it’s shorter, thinner and way more painful than the heavier doubled over belt, It leaves a different kind of bruise, it has a much sharper sting/bite and it is absolutely lethal in the right hands. I also own butter paddles, they have a thin ridged side and a smooth side. The ridged side is mood dependent for me as it stings like crazy and can break the skin if it’s used for too long. I don’t want to damage myself so that one is only used when I have been particularly naughty and deserve it. A wooden ruler has recently been added to my implement collection and also a triple layer short leather strap and a machine belt slapper, this little implement carries a shocker of a sting and it builds up the pain in layers, it’s very effective in the right hands and is one that makes me gulp when I know it’s going to be used.

We didn’t just discuss how long I would be able to take a spanking of any of these implements, we discussed at length how long I should take a spanking. In the interests of keeping things safe during these consensual punishments, both parties have to feel like they have a cut off point, not just the person taking the spanking, but the person giving it too, there has to be a safety measure put in place that all parties agree must not be breeched, and of course a safe word in place so that I always feel in control of what is happening to me. Both Graham and Stuart were very keen to make sure that this aspect was discussed and agreed upon first and foremost. These may be discipline spankings from them but they too have a limit they will not exceed nor do they wish to. They don’t want to damage me, they want to help me change my ways through learning lessons not through fear, but by being disciplined sufficiently each time, I learn that there is a much better way of controlling my own wayward urges. It does help. It’s painful, humiliating in most cases and it makes me feel ashamed of my actions. (Sometimes I even change, but to date, that usually only lasts for as long as the spanking effects are still present, I still have some work to do!)

I have yet to use the safe word during any spanking and I realised a while ago, I can take the harder punishment spankings and I want them, I have a high pain threshold and to be honest, the more pain, the more I like it. I get more from these kind of spankings than I do an otk hand spanking or a short 6 caning. I need to able to feel something, I crave that feeling, I have been emotionally numb for a very long time and this has dulled all of my senses to the point where I feel completely bereft of any real feeling at all. I am now waking my body and my mind up through pain and it is allowing me to experience a level of pleasure I didn’t know I was capable of feeling.

It’s like an awakening and while it might sound borderline brutal, and I may sound like I’m being pushed into the spankings I’m getting, it isn’t and I’m not. it is well within the discussed boundaries and is completely consensual. These two men make me feel very submissive and that isn’t a place I’ve ever found myself before, I am very head strong and willful and I do take serious risks, I also have a huge dislike of authority and authority figures in my life and I will fight against them, that is my natural countenance. Both Graham and Stuart seem to be able to largely subdue the ‘feral’ side of my nature and I become exceptionally compliant with either one of them. I find it utterly fascinating! It is a side of my nature I never knew existed and I am happily trotting into this with my eyes wide open and loving every minute of exploring this new facet of my personality. Read on with the knowledge that I am not being controlled or coerced into any of the spankings or situations I soon find myself in. I happily took myself there and stayed there of my own free will. I also had a very good idea of what the punishment would be like, although there are always surprises in store for me as you will find out along the way. These men are very resourceful!

So, last night was the first half of my spanking punishment from Graham and unfortunately for me, we never actually got to the designated punishment that Graham had planned for my bad behaviour of a few weeks ago, my mouth had gotten me into a world of trouble before I had even walked through his door.

So here I was again, standing outside Graham’s house at 7pm exactly, wearing sensible shoes as instructed (I hate them, but at least they have a small heel.) Dressed appropriately for a spanking (you know, ease of access kind of throw the dress up around the hips sort of appropriate) and I was wearing panties (as instructed.) Full cover, white cotton panties. He wanted panties, he could have my big girl knickers. Besides, I was kind of hoping he was going to just spank me over them because right now, my bottom and thighs are so sore and bruised from last night, I am actually dreading tonight’s spanking. I have played around with the idea of texting him and cancelling tonight but he was so angry with me last night, that could backfire on my bottom at a later date. Besides, he had called me selfish and that really stung. I’m not and I wanted to prove that I wasn’t just always thinking about me.

I took a deep breath and knocked on the door. Graham answered almost immediately and he ushered me inside quickly. He seemed a lot less angry with me today than he had yesterday and I embraced the change in his demeanor smiling tentatively at him.

He smiled back and invited me to come through to the kitchen while he made us a drink. I relaxed instantly, this was more like the Graham I had come to know. Maybe tonight was not going to be so bad after all.

Graham handed me a coffee and told me to sit down, I did and we chatted for a little while, it was obvious that he had definitely calmed down since last night. Then he dropped a shocker.

‘I’ve been busy today Gem, I looked up Stuart Evans, the head coach at your club, and I emailed him. I have to say I was pleasantly surprised when he emailed me back almost immediately.’

I nearly choked on my coffee.

‘He’s a really decent guy isn’t he? And he obviously cares a lot about you. We had a good long email discussion and then he phoned me to continue the conversation and all I can say is, wow. That man has got you worked out to a tee. Anyway the upshot is this, he now understands just how off the rails you have gone and he is in agreement that he and I should work as a team. I understand that the pressures of his job prevent him from giving you a more regular spanking than once a month so I have offered to step in and spank you every two weeks. In the interim you will make full use of the spanking machine and either he or I or both of us, will set you a daily spanking regime that you will follow.

Now I know I’ve been a bit spank happy of late but come on! Really? Double teaming me AND the spanking machine? I might never get to sit down again! FFS!!

Published by gemstrong63

I'm embarking on a journey of discovery into the world of self spanking, spanking and being disciplined! Step inside and join me on my rollercoaster ride of self-spanking and self-discipline. I get taken in directions I never expected to, I get bruised and satisfied, shocked but delighted, spanked by myself, spanked by my window cleaner and his wife, spanked by my neighbour, spanked with a spanking machine and that's just for starters. Be aware. I take a side step out of the diary to give you a window into my real life for a little while, it may help to explain why I need the painful pleasure I seek. Don't be afraid to come in and have a read, It is all consensual and I love sharing my experiences with you.

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