Did I really think I could slow things down the other day? Maybe wear Tom out a little? No chance! It’s had the reverse effect and now I have a horny giant bear of a man on my hands and nowhere to hide! I wasn’t really trying that hard to get away from him if I’m honest. It was more about me needing to regroup than slow him down any!
He may be full on but I won’t have him in 6 days time and I need to take what I can from him! All day yesterday, he was utterly relentless and I loved it. Tom like this is mind blowing. The intensity, the eroticism, his innate feel for bringing out my latent sensuality is like nothing I’ve ever known before and I am utterly addicted to him.
There is nothing gentle or vanilla about this thing between us, I have no idea what to call it but it isn’t just sex! It’s a mind blowing, all consuming, full on erotic, sensual explosion between two bodies and it’s animalistic; lip curling, snarling, predator and prey circling each other and the union is stunning every single time. It’s different every single time, it’s exhausting and exhilarating every single time and it leaves us both wanting more.
Which is why it was such a shock when things took a weird turn today. I was stood in the kitchen making lunch when he appeared behind me and startled me. For such a big man, he moves like a cat!
I threw a tomato at him and told him to sit down and stop sneaking around! He caught the tomato, ate it, and then grabbed me from behind and up ended me over his knee. Before I could process what had happened my skirt was up over my hips, my panties were down below my knees and I was being spanked, hard!
I wriggled, kicked, squirmed and demanded to know why I was suddenly taking a spanking!
‘You need one Gemma. It’s that simple .’ Uh oh, full name. He sounded cross, really cross. I struggled against his hold and tried to get off his knee. No chance, he draped his big arm over my hips and held me fast as he tanned my backside crimson with his bare hand. My cheeks were exploding with red hot heat, my thighs were stinging from the continual sharp slaps he was delivering to them. I was howling and yelling and kicking out but to no avail. I was there for 10 minutes and received a sound spanking until I was in tears. I was righteously indignant at the unfairness of it all!
Finally he let me up and I hastily retreated to the other side of the kitchen and relative safety.
‘What was that for? And don’t tell me it’s because I threw a tomato at you!’ I demanded while I rubbed my now very sore behind. I was still reeling from the spanking.
He shrugged his big shoulders and leaned back in his seat. ‘I’m redressing the balance of power, you did a number on me the other day without warning, and I have yet to receive an explanation for it. While I’ve been waiting for that I realised, you never explain anything that’s going on in your head, you expect me to follow blindly and simply accept things. Figured it was time to give you a taste of your own medicine.’
I was silent. He wasn’t playing around here, he really was upset with me. ‘I’m sorry, I didn’t realise .’ I said and I meant it. I walked over to the table and sat down opposite him. I tried to explain. ‘I struggle to be open Tom, you know that about me. I’m not saying it’s right, but it’s the way I’ve always been, I told you that coming in.’
He uncrossed his arms and leaned on the table and held my worried gaze with a clear one of his own. ‘Tell me what the other day was about.’ he said quietly.
I sat back and blew out a small breath and looked him straight in the eyes. He was fuming! I needed to pay attention.
‘It was about me getting ahead of you slightly. You’re like a machine with no off button Tom. Keeping up with you is exhausting, I decided it was time to slow things down without too much fuss. I know you have a high sex drive and I knew what you said about all day every day for the whole 9 days was likely to come to fruition if I didn’t apply some brakes! The other day was my way of withdrawing to regroup without having to do this, sit down and talk it out where misunderstandings can happen, where feelings get brought into it, and things go wrong.’ I folded my arms across my chest and waited.
Now he was furious! ‘You mean to tell me, you couldn’t say, hang on a minute I can’t do that, I’m tired? You couldn’t speak to me about how you were feeling? Why? I have been nothing but open with you, I’m not upset about how the day played out Gemma, I’m truly pissed off that you don’t talk to me!’ He threw his hands up in frustration and sat back in his chair again.
See? This is what I mean, as soon as words get involved in anything, stuff gets messy damn it!
His words stung me and I retaliated swiftly. ‘I do talk to you, more than I’ve ever talked to anyone. I’ve been more open with you than any other man I’ve ever been involved with. I don’t know what you want from me, I can’t just become someone else overnight!’ I was cross now. He wasn’t being fair! I could see where this was leading and I didn’t want to go there.
He didn’t let up. ‘I want more Gemma. I want you to be with me and trust I won’t add to the mess in your head. At least trust me enough to tell me when things are too much for you! Will you at least do that? I hate being the one who has to suck it up and accept that I won’t have a clue half the time about what’s going on.’
I could feel all of my defence mechanisms slamming firmly into place. This was bad. This was very bad. I slammed the brakes on my defences and took another stab at calming the situation down.
‘I’m gonna take you at your word now and say this, I really, really don’t want to do this. I don’t want a heart to heart about my lack of communication skills. I don’t want to open my head up for you to see just how fucked up it is in there, you’ve already had experience of that, surely that gives you some clue as to why I am the way I am!’
He sat back in his chair and he looked like I had just slapped him. Jesus this was getting bent out of shape and no mistake.
‘That steel trap you’ve got going on in your head is driving me nuts!’ His voice was so quiet he scared me. Could he walk away from me because of this?
I threw my hands up in mock surrender. ‘Fine, if I want something I will tell you why I want it that way, I will trust you enough to tell you when its too much, but as far as the steel trap goes? That has been there a lot longer than you’ve been around and it will be there when you leave in 6 days time to go back to your real life. The one that doesn’t include me that is roughly 250 miles away at the other end of the blasted country!’ I was circling the wagons now. I was scared.
I watched his expression change slowly with understanding. ‘You think I’m going to walk away from you in six days and say thanks for everything it’s been a blast?’
‘Aren’t you?’ I was genuinely confused, not once had he intimated that it might be different.
‘Bloody hell woman! I’m not even sure I could walk away in 6 months never mind 6 days! For gods sake! We have something Gem! Something good and I want to stay here with you. I want to get to know the Boy, I want us, but I need you to be more forthcoming with your thought processes and not just leave me out of the decision making. I would like to make this real between us and not just feel like we’re playing out a damned fantasy!’
He wanted a relationship, a real one. I could feel panic building. This was my biggest fear, I hate the concept of relationship, it makes everything unreasonable, it brings with it expectations I knew I would fall short on. I had a past littered with prime examples of just that.
I was crying, I didn’t know I was until I felt a tear splash on the back of my hand. I stared at it for a minute before I looked up at him and said, ‘I can’t do relationships Tom. I break them, usually on purpose. I can’t be anyone other than who I am and it always ends up me not being good enough, or wrong, or I’m too much to deal with…’
He pushed back immediately. He had known that was coming. ‘I don’t give a damn about giving this a name, we are lovers, and we are friends and we are damned good together! That’s enough for me. We don’t have to give this a label Gemma but we do need to discuss how we can carry on past the 9 days and that means you have to open up some and trust me. I don’t want or need you to change! You’re fine as you are as far as I’m concerned! I just want a chance to see where we can take this. I think you do too, but I get it, you’re scared.’
And just like that he was making complete sense again and I began to relax a little. There was a light at the end of the tunnel!
‘So you’re happy to leave the emotional crap out of this, no expectations or declarations of love? We carry on as we are but with more direct conversation about how I’m coping with your full on sex drive and we stay honest and trust each other? That’s what you want?’ That sounded way too easy. It couldn’t be that simple… could it?
‘Yes.’ His reply was succinct.
I blew out a long breath and sat back. Damn it I wanted that too.
‘Okay.’ I said quietly.
He watched me carefully for a moment, ‘Okay?’ he questioned.
‘Okay, you can stay past the nine days, we are lovers and friends and we don’t put a label on what we have for as long as we have it. I will try and be more open. That’s all I can promise. I want us too.’
He moved like lightning! Before I knew what was happening he was out of his chair and pulling me off mine and into his arms. He kissed me deeply and for a long time. He carried me out of the kitchen and into the lounge and before I knew what had hit me, we were joined at the hips again and I was crying as I realised, I really might have met my match this time! I was scared to death but I was more scared of letting him go than letting him in. I held on as he buried himself inside me until I couldn’t think anymore.
Tom was now a permanent fixture.
My 9 days had disappeared and 1 of every day appeared in its place.