So much for never again! I need a spanking!

It took two weeks for the spanking bruises to begin to fade. It took a week for them all to come out! Every time I moved, sat, stood, turned over in bed, bent down, ran up the stairs, pulled on a pair of trousers or jeans, I got flashbacks from the Wilsons spanking! I had run the gauntlet of every range of emotion I have ever experienced in my life in the last two weeks. I have been angry at myself, dismayed with myself, shocked at myself. I have laughed at the thought of ‘riding the cowboy while having a rump slapping hump, a poke, a tupping and a good seeing too’. I almost wet myself I laughed so hard at the images that kept popping into my head every time I thought about ‘riding the cowboy’. If you had seen Mr Wilson, you would understand completely. Here was a man who knew where his talents lay and words were definitely not one of them. To be fair, they were unique in their descriptive tone and they definitely built a picture, one that horrified me even while it fascinated me.

I was never angry at the Wilsons. They have righteous indignation on their side and they absolutely adore each other and are a wonderful team. It wasn’t their fault I was in the middle of a mid life crisis and desperate to be spanked. I understand how they could be offended by my thoughtless actions. I truly believe they were well within their rights to deal with the matter as they did, and I will add, that while I may not have covered it in the telling of the spankings, Mr Wilson did infact spend a long time on that first visit talking to me, after I had told him my side of what he had witnessed. It became apparent to me quite early on in the conversation that Mr Wilson was very much a disciplinarian and he wholeheartedly embraces the idea of CP as a way of dealing with a problem. I talked with him at length about my childhood spankings and how they made me feel like I was answerable and how it helped me ‘colour inside the lines’ even if it was only ever for a short time. I was not psychologically damaged by my punishments because they had been delivered with love and an explanation so that I could learn about consequence for every action taken. It had stood me in good stead throughout my early adult life as I towed the line to avoid the embarassment of being spanked in front of my Aunt or Uncle, or Nan and Grandad or Mum and Dad. They all loved me, I never felt abused as many people call it now, I saw and understood it for what it was. Punishment for a misdeed that was deserving of a spanking. In my world, it was simple but effective.

Mr Wilson broached the subject of a strict discipline spanking from him and his wife as a way to teach me a much needed lesson in self-discipline. He explained that they lived a very happy domestic discipline lifestyle and their marriage was much stronger and more honest for it. They would discipline each other whenever the need would arise and there were never any harsh rows or recriminations between them because they had dealt with the issue in the most fitting manner. I was fascinated and utterly drawn in by his description of their world. Had I had a marriage like that with that level of trust and understanding perhaps I would still be married today and getting all the spanking I wanted or needed without the need to go to the lengths I had gone to!

I happily accepted his proposal and he phoned his wife and told her of his suggestion, she was happy to go ahead and she agreed he would lay down the terms of the spanking.

He gave me a safe word I could use, if, when the spanking got under way I felt I was not coping with it, or I was frightened, or I thought he had gone outside what we had agreed, and he would stop immediately. I should never feel like I was not safe and secure at all times. It didn’t stop me thinking about stabbing him in the eye with the filleting knife though! … Just sayin’

He told me he would fly close to the edges of our agreement and would take things to their absolute limit and he would not give me details in advance but it would definitely be within the boundaries we had set and agreed upon. Mrs Wilson’s involvement in the spanking had definitely been pushing those boundaries to their absolute limit, but afterwards I could see that he had listened to my explanations about my childhood spankings and had drawn his influences from the double humiliation of being spanked in front of an audience. He had said he didn’t know whether Mrs Wilson would get involved but that as long as I agreed in advance that she could if she chose to, he would decide on the day whether it would happen or not. I had agreed, but I had stated that I would prefer not to have an audience for my humiliation. He scolded me at that time and told me I could not set the rules of the spanking only the edges they could go to. Anything that happened from that point on was up to him and his wife and I would comply or I could expect to be punished further.
Everything that happened immediately after that conversation was completely consensual because we had agreed I was to consider myself open to punishment at any time from the moment I gave my consent to him spanking me. I was in the punishment zone, effective immediately.

That whole conversation has to be the most bizzare conversation I have ever had in my entire life but I was so relieved to be able to share my story with someone who would understand and not only that had offered assistance in a way that was ideally suited to my current state of mind. I needed what he was offering and I would have been a fool to have turned it down. He was very caring and courteous about the whole thing and I realised he really knew what he was about. I went into it with both eyes open and I also trusted them both to keep their word. In turn, they trusted me not to tell anyone about their domestic discipline lifestyle, because, while they were deeply religious people and devout church attendees, they did not attend a church that followed that particular style of life. Theirs is a more modern religion and CP isn’t on their approved list of methods of punishment. They had a lot to lose if they were ever exposed!

Anyway, that’s the back story for the involvement of the Wilsons and why I just seemed to accept being treated that way in the telling of the story. It was entirely consensual.

So, back to my very sore bottom, thighs and throbbing fanny!

By the end of the first week after the Wilsons spanking I was beginning to view my experience through slightly different eyes. My bottom was now throbbing happily every time I sat down. The pain was no longer pain, it was a sensual reminder of what had happened and my clit had started to throb every time I had a flashback, especially when I flashed back to Mrs Wilson’s part in the spanking. Mrs Wilson pushed as far and as hard as she could to the limits of our boundaries and I let her. I could have protested, I could have used the safe word because she really did fly close to the bone with her finger probing but Oh my god! it was so exciting and it intensified everything to an almost unbearable level. I really thought she was going to push her finger all the way inside my pussy and I will admit I was disappointed when she stopped and resumed the spanking. I reached for an orgasm all afternoon and evening after they had gone, even when I had been sat in the sink I tried, nothing. Not a thing. My clit was on strike for three days. That was a shocker! I was not used to going so long without some light relief! By default, I had learned about edging and to be fair, I could live without that knowledge forevermore!

Since my divorce and the arrival of my solo life I have indulged my newly reawakened interest in my own body. I never bothered while I was married, my husband was a bore in the bedroom and would rather we didn’t actually. I don’t consider myself to be the most beautiful woman in the world but I do think I am still quite attractive and his attitude had always confused and hurt me deeply because I assumed the failing was mine. He was good at making me feel that way and he withheld all affection unless he wanted something. Since my divorce I have found that it wasn’t me, he was playing with men and I could not compete as I did not have the necessary body parts to hold his interest. I wouldn’t have bothered trying to compete anyway, by the time I found out, I just wanted him gone. We had been on the outs for longer than we had ever been happy and it was time to call time on our non-marriage.

He never came out as gay, I would have respected him more if he had been that honest, he just said he liked to have a play with a bloke sometimes, I invited him to go play with a bloke all the time and get the fuck out of my life. At that point, my lowest point, I believe I was actually relieved we had not had sex for a good number of years! At least I didn’t have to worry about std’s or anything like that! Anyway…

The spanking I had received from the Wilsons had made me very introspective and I was examining all areas of my life and assessing where I could improve myself, my attitude, I was even looking closely at previous situations I had found myself in and was being honest enough to admit that I too had been responsible for the outcome of quite a lot of the events.

I’m not a wild person, I don’t go feral, well, not often, but I do disregard rules on a regular basis and dance to the beat of my own drum most of the time. It’s a wonderful thing, freedom. You can decide who you want to be on any given day and not have to worry about compromise or someone else’s feelings on the matter. This has allowed me to become much more openly interested in the darker more kinky side of my sexual nature. I do love to explore erotica as a means for turning me on and I do play for hours with my toys, I suppose you could say I am tripping over into a hedonistic mindset but I don’t really care because I never involve anyone else. I just fly solo. The Wilsons were a very happy mistake that turned out to be one of the best spanking sessions I have ever experienced. Would I do it again? Probably not. What are the odds of me ever having that kind of situation happen again? Spanking is never talked about openly, it’s always behind closed doors and if it is mentioned at all it is always run down by the moral squad and called abusive, dangerous to one’s mind in later years and should be abolished completely. Then those same hypocrites go home, spank their wives or husbands and have a rip roaring sex session because of it! So, the possibility of me finding another person to spank me disappears down the swanny before I’ve even closed the chapter on this one! I know Mr and Mrs Wilson will not come back to spank me again, they told me it was a one time deal and I did lose him as my window cleaner too. To be honest, the new window cleaner is a lot sweeter on the eye and he reaches all the corners of the windows too. Perhaps I should leave my spanking implements out on the bed one day when he’s due to clean the windows?

I am feeling more and more like I should go back to my original plan of self spanking so that I can at least experience some form of regular discipline. I know I need it, my contrition for my actions toward Mr Wilson is fading fast because my fingers keep finding my sweet spot every time my bottom throbs or my thighs tighten and tingle, especially when I look at that spanking strap Mr Wilson left behind. Damn it I really want to feel that across my bottom again but I know it’s going to be at least another week before I can even attempt a spanking of my own.

Mr Wilson was very wrong in his assessment of my spanking skills, I do not flick my wrist as he put it, I am very adroit at raising high and landing hard and full when I spank and I can tell you, I rarely if ever slow down the speed or power with which I spank myself. I want to feel that bite, I am looking for those bruises to bloom and that heat to sear me. It makes me feel vitally alive and I actively crave the feeling of humiliating myself and chastising myself. That makes me sound quite crazy but I can assure you, I am just enjoying the edges of my darker nature. It’s a very interesting place to spend some time right now.

I need another spanking and very, very soon. I need to make a list of tasks that I must complete and set my schedule up again. My pussy is getting moist just thinking about it. Looks like the cane, the hairbrush, the spatula and now the leather strap are all off the hook from a bonfire and are firmly back in favour. I will give myself a week to complete my tasks and then over the end of the bed or maybe even the kitchen table, in just bra, panties, suspenders and stockings and a lovely pair of black 4″ stiletto heels (I treated myself to after the Wilson spanking,) for me!

I did enjoy taking off my dress in front of Mr Wilson, I especially enjoyed seeing his reaction when my breasts fell out of my bra and bounced around freely as I went over Mrs Wilson’s knee. He tented by the way. That gave me a little moo of satisfaction I can tell you. He was so up his own arse about being faithful and true to his lovely little wife, but when he copped a look at my bouncing beauties he was standing to attention within a few seconds! He was positively squirming in his seat when my legs flew wide open and his wife was fingering me. It was one of the reasons why I never called the safe word. I wanted to watch him watch us and wish it was him doing it! Revenge comes in all shapes and sizes, I bet she walloped his arse and good when they got home because I know she saw the huge bulge in the front of his pants and she tutted. Maybe she even got to go for a ride on the cowboy?

All images courtesy of the internet except the ruler and spatula, they are mine.

Published by gemstrong63

I'm embarking on a journey of discovery into the world of self spanking, spanking and being disciplined! Step inside and join me on my rollercoaster ride of self-spanking and self-discipline. I get taken in directions I never expected to, I get bruised and satisfied, shocked but delighted, spanked by myself, spanked by my window cleaner and his wife, spanked by my neighbour, spanked with a spanking machine and that's just for starters. Be aware. I take a side step out of the diary to give you a window into my real life for a little while, it may help to explain why I need the painful pleasure I seek. Don't be afraid to come in and have a read, It is all consensual and I love sharing my experiences with you.

2 thoughts on “So much for never again! I need a spanking!

    1. Yeah, it’s an indefinable something that has you craving the tension, the intense heat, the sound and feel of the first stroke as it lands…
      I tell myself every time I have a spanking I am never putting myself through this again and then the effects wear off, the pain dissipates and I am running back to the end of my bed to assume the position and take another hard spanking because… I can only assume my brain does not remember pain…I have to keep reminding it …

      Like

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