Do it yourself is overrated. Just sayin…
So, I’m back to D I Y and quite frankly, I’m just not feeling it. Any of it. I can spank away to my hearts content but it doesn’t mean I feel it. It isn’t reaching the part of my brain that craves this, and I’m not getting any kind of feeling of discipline or even sexual satisfaction from it. I just feel empty. But worse than that, I feel somewhat out of control again. Losing focus, leaving things that need doing, all the stuff that got me started on this journey in the first place. It’s all crowding back in around me again. I have a very bruised bottom and thighs courtesy of my ability to swing Stuart’s paddle, which he still hasn’t requested back, but those bruises are just colours. No mental imagery goes with them, no flashbacks from how they came to be, no feelings of being disciplined, chastised, humiliated or being made to feel submissive. I miss Stuart and Graham a lot.
So, back to empty. What do I do now? I suppose the reality of it is I need a Spanker/Disciplinarian to take me in hand again. To date, all of my external spankings have come from accidental exposure of my kink to some hitherto unsuspecting human going about their daily business. They have all kind of fallen into my world of spanking and been drawn in for a short while. They all leave though. I’m not a keeper, I know this about myself. People can’t keep me, I won’t let them.
I joined a spanking website or two to see if I could talk to others about spanking. Well, that opened up one or two interesting possibilities, some downright scary ones and a few that were so far of the scale of normal I almost ran screaming from the PC. My philosophy in life is ‘each to their own’. I truly believe we are all unique and special in our own way and I try not to judge people for what they want for themselves, but when that thing they want requires something nasty for me, I then have an opinion. Not for me! I need pain yes, but I am not that masochistically gone that I could want the kind of stuff they want to do to me. Each to their own is fine but they need to keep it to themselves and not give it me, is all I’m sayin’. I just need taking in hand, I need to feel accountable and I need a proper spanking!
During the course of my wanderings around the strange and fascinating world of the internet, I hooked up with Aaron who wanted to discipline me from afar. He had taken the time to read my profile bio and he tailored his response to suit my needs. I chatted with him for a good while before I agreed to taking any discipline from him. I outright refused to meet up with him, I have one thing in my head, I have to protect the boy no matter what. No meeting up with strangers from the internet. (Apparently this caution does not cover strangers and neighbours in my immediate vicinity!)
But an online disciplinarian could work. Couldn’t it?
Just so you all know, I am not big on being photographed, or on letting people see the real me. So this was a huge leap for me. One I was quite uncomfortable with to start off with. I had the laptop set up in the bedroom facing the bed and I was sat on the edge of the bed waiting for Aaron to appear. I was so damn nervous I had to run and do a quick bathroom visit before he came online. (Very aware of my naughty bladder peeps, it can be a thing when I don’t pay attention… TMI? Ask any woman over 40 and then come back to me if they don’t all agree!) I’m telling you… it’s a thing!
Anyway, Aaron appeared on the screen and looked very sternly at me, he sat on a hard backed chair, with his leg crossed over his knee, and he was wearing a white shirt with a tie, and black slacks. He looked like a headmaster I suppose, or maybe a boss? I don’t know what look he was going for but it came over as strict enough, so job done.
‘Hello Gemma, do you have anything to report to me about your behaviour?’ Aaron got straight down to business which I appreciated, but he had a very high pitched, Joe Pesci, type voice which was completely at odds with his appearance, and if I’m being totally honest, it threw me. I couldn’t help it, I started giggling.
‘Yes Sir,’ I was giggling and couldn’t hide it.
‘Why are you laughing Gemma?’ Aaron barked the question at me.
I straightened my face and controlled my giggling, and managed to shrug my shoulders. I didn’t respond to his question so he asked me again.
‘Why are you laughing Gemma, answer me please!’ He was obviously not letting this go so I told him.
‘I was just laughing at how high your voice sounds Sir,’ I said very quietly.
He didn’t look pleased at all. Well, he wouldn’t would he? I had just insulted him! I instantly felt remorseful.
‘I’m sorry Sir, that was rude of me, I think the sound on the laptop isn’t very good and it’s just making you sound… nevermind, I’m very sorry.’
I lowered my eyes and looked down at my feet and waited.
‘I see, so you think you can make fun of my voice, then give me a silly little apology and that will make everything okay again?’ He was furious. I could see the colour mottling his face now and I really did feel bad for what I had done.
‘I really am very sorry Sir, I will try to adjust the sound so your voice comes through properly next time.’ I grovelled.
‘Stand up Gemma.’ He ordered me.
I stood up and crossed my hands in front of me.
‘What punishment do you think you deserve for insulting me?’
‘I don’t know sir,’ I mumbled. Shit, don’t ask me to set the punishment! I would probably go in too heavy from the word go, I waited him out. It didn’t take long.
‘You don’t know. I will tell you then. You will take 2 minutes with the cane on your bare bottom immediately.’
My eyes flew to the screen in shock.
‘Right now? No warm up?’ I stammered
‘That is what immediately means is it not? No warm up, you don’t deserve the luxury of one. The spanking machine will deliver these so that we make sure you get the maximum strike available with the cane. Load it up please.’
I did as I was told and inserted the cane into the spanking machine.
‘Set the dial to maximum power and turn the timer to 2 minutes. That should be sufficient to cover what 12 strokes of the cane would really feel like if I was there delivering them.’ He was definitely getting into his stride!
2 minutes! That is the equivalent of 35 strokes!! Shit! I am in major trouble now! But I do as I’m told. I set everything up as Aaron has ordered.
‘Bend over the end of the bed Gemma, pull your dress up over your hips and pull your panties down.’ I did and then positioned myself over the end of the bed. It suddenly dawned on me in a complete rush of humiliation and embarrassment, that Aaron had an unrestricted view of my bottom and pussy on full display to him and quite suddenly, pussy came out to play with a song and dance! She was throbbing away happily at my humiliation.
I reached behind me and switched the machine on. The first stroke nearly lifted me off my feet! SHIT!!! I had forgotten how horrid the cane is on a fresh bottom. I jumped and howled as the cane flew backwards and forwards at a steady pace as it connected with my tender bottom and thighs. Yes I was doing my hula hoop thing with my hips and up on my toes to relieve my cheeks and let my thighs catch up. I yowled and squealed almost all the way through the two minutes! Aaron instructed me to be silent for the final 30 seconds and if he heard even so much as a sniffle he would make me take a minute extra.
I shoved a handful of duvet into my mouth and bit down as the cane whipped across my bottom and thighs, digging in deep and biting the soft, tender skin. I could feel the welts blooming across my cheeks and then the heat set in along with the heavy stinging throb. Oh god, I had forgotten how painful this can be!
Finally the machine came to a standstill. The 2 minutes were up. Aaron grunted something and then instructed me to change the cane over for the hairbrush. I did as I was told and inserted the hairbrush into the holder.
‘Do you have the mineral oil I instructed you to have ready?’ He asked.
‘Yes sir,’ I mumbled as I showed him the bottle.
‘Apply a liberal amount to your bottom and thighs, give them a good coating and apply some to the back of the hairbrush. When you’re done, we shall stay on maximum power and you can set the timer for 5 minutes to start with.’
Okay so 5 minutes in real spanks is 177 spanks. (I know because I counted them once) this was gonna hurt like crazy! Aaron interrupted me again.
‘Before you start Gemma, remove your dress please, it is getting in the way when you jump about. You will stand in front of the bed so I may inspect you.’
My humiliation was complete. I removed my dress and stood at the end of the bed facing the screen and I watched as he inspected me from head to foot. His eyes lingered on my breasts, barely held in place by my bra. My pussy set up an insistent throbbing and I wanted to groan.
‘Take that bra off. It’s pointless.’ He ordered dismissively.
I removed my bra and placed it with my dress on the stool beside me. I saw heat in his eyes when he caught sight of my very full breasts bouncing as I moved around. Oh yes, he was getting something out of this too. Regardless of his claims during our chats that it wasn’t sexual for him. Like fuck it wasn’t. Leg crossed, arms folded across his groin? I knew what he was hiding! Pussy kicked up a notch and was now singing!
‘Now Gemma, not only have you been exceptionally rude to me, you still have not reported your transgressions to me as I requested. So I am going to assume there are many and a hard and heavy spanking is in order. Position yourself over the end of the bed and begin the spanking please. You are allowed to sway from side to side and move up and down so that your thighs take a spanking. When the five minutes are done, reset the machine for a further five minutes and continue with the spanking.’ Aaron barked out his instructions rapid fire and I hurried to carry them out.
I nodded, eyes downcast, and I positioned myself, reached behind me, switched on the machine and oh my god! That hair brush! The wood connected with my sore bottom on the first spank and dug in gripping my skin, the mineral oil had created a thin slick cover that made the wood hold on contact, sting sharper and connecting harder. I howled and howled and yelped and squealed as it delivered blow after blow, all the time Aaron sat behind me instructing me to lift my bottom up higher, move to the right, move to the left, stand on tiptoe. My thighs had exploded in pain now, they were getting so much attention. I could feel the heat spreading like fire across my bottom and thighs. My poor pussy got caught in the cross fire once or twice because my swinging hips were too slow for the next stroke and thwack, straight across my pussy lips. She was swollen and hot and throbbing painfully but still singing! I could feel the tears prickling my eyes. My pussy was glistening with juices and I knew the screen was not set far enough away for him to not see that. During one of our conversations prior, he had intimated that should I get turned on by the spankings he gave, he would punish me for my naughty thoughts. But that wasn’t it! It wasn’t naughty thoughts at all, it was a wonderful reaction to counteract the delightfully painful spanking! That was what did it, oh and I think exposing myself might have been a huge factor too. I am an exhibitionist after all!
Finally the first 5 minutes came to an end and I stood up shakily, sniffling, panting, hurting, and I reset the timer. I repositioned myself over the bed and was about to reach back and start again when Aaron spoke.
‘Move the machine along the side of the bed Gemma and then I want you to kneel on hands and knees on the bed facing forward so you can see me. This five minutes will concentrate on your thighs and sit spot. You will look at me for the whole five minutes. I want to see the pain on your face as each stroke lands. ‘ He sounded positively fucking gleeful!
I moved the machine and got into position. I felt so very exposed with my breasts swinging in full view, and my tear stained face right in front of him, at this point I was crawling with humiliation.
I reached behind me and started the machine again. Every thought, every single thought disappeared in a rush as the spanking began again, the only thing I could hear was the arm of the machine as it pulled back and the SMACK as the brush landed on my sit spots and red hot thighs. I could only feel the pain. My humiliation was a very secondary thing now as that brush roamed around my bottom and thighs and turned my super soft bottom into hard leather as each spank landed over and over in the same place when I forgot to move! I was in a world of pain and everywhere was throbbing intensely. Stinging, biting, wet smacks sticking as they landed, my skin blooming underneath in all different directions. My pussy was on fire and I knew I was barely a nanosecond from cumming! I didn’t dare though, I checked that bad girl! I didn’t want him to see that look on my face! That could come later, when the screen was off and I was completely alone and safe from further chastisement!
I groaned, moaned, wailed, sobbed and cried all the way through the five minutes of pure agony that brush delivered on my ass. Aaron leaned forward so that he could see every single excruciating stroke of that brush etch itself onto my face as pain and he smiled. A big happy smile. Sadistic bastard!
The machine stopped. The room fell heavily silent for a moment, I almost forgot to breathe, so beautiful was the lack of sound from that damned machine. And then Aaron ruined it with his high pitched voice.
‘Get up Gemma, go and stand in the corner where I can see you, 10 minutes, hands on head, legs together, no touching, no soothing your bottom. Apply a liberal amount of the chilli rub you said you have.’
I stumbled from the bed and walked unsteadily to the corner of the room and assumed the position. I applied the chilli rub and Oh, oh, oh… the numbness was wearing off, prickly heat began spreading outwards from the centre of the twin hard spots, fire licked at my skin, dancing across it in finger light touches, here and there, then deepening, then turning to hot, hot, hot, throbbing everywhere. My sit spot was consumed with a dull heavy ache and my thighs were burning and stinging and throbbing. Everywhere hurt and burned fiercely!
After the ten minute corner time ended, Aaron called me back to stand with my back to the screen so that he could see his handy work. I heard him grunt his approval of the damage the machine had wrought on my bottom and then he instructed me to turn around. I turned and faced the screen and waited.
‘You have barely tasted a punishment today Gemma, we will build up slowly until we meet your maximum times from past endeavours with the spanking machine. Now, as you are obviously very turned on from this spanking experience, I am setting some extra non-spanking punishments that you will carry out for the remainder of the week until our next appointment.
You will not masturbate, touch yourself or gain any sexual relief until I give you permission, you will do corner time every night for 10 minutes until our next appointment and you will think about your wayward behaviour, you will also hand write 500 lines saying ‘I must not be lazy and I deserve a hard spanking’. Do you understand?’
I nodded and said in a very tiny voice, ‘Yes Sir.’
No sexual relief? FOR A WEEK?? NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
All photos/images courtesy of the internet except the Jokari paddles. They are mine.