My Spanking Journey. – Page 12 – Gemma – Journey of Self discovery

Tom – Day 6 of 7 (Part 1 )

This new dynamic has forced me to look at who I am and how I can be what Tom needs. A fighting submissive? I don’t know, we are still working out the details.

Since he came into my life, mentally and emotionally, I am stronger than I have been in a long time. I find I am eager to give myself up to his desires and go where he leads and give what he wants. I am more content to follow and not lead but not quite always.

The single thing that has changed the most is that my sticking plasters holding me together are tougher these days. I don’t bleed fear so easily now. I trust Tom. This is a huge breakthrough for me.

I am still broken, I will not talk about my emotions, the depth of them, the feel of them, the shape of them. I will not open up the steel trap and release demons to be slayed by him. They are my demons, I earned them. I decide when they leave. They were 40 + years in the making. 3 months of happy will not slay them.

There is an even deeper fissure inside me filled with pain and anger and damaging memories that cannot be held together with any amount of sticking plasters, bandages or even the mighty steel trap! That well of raw emotion is what drives me to test Tom on a daily, sometimes minute by minute basis. I push him so hard so fast and without reason, I fear one day he will bow to the inevitable and leave. He says not, I believe him today. Today is a bad demon day, today has stirred some fears and anxieties in me I have not faced before.

Tonight is the first of two parties. Graham’s 50th Celebration has been divided into two parts, the first one is for those friends who he openly and happily shares his passions with, people he has disciplined, lovers, like minded friends who know about the other side of his life. A party so that we can all relax knowing we are not going to shock the hell out of some distant aged Aunt because we mention canes, or whips, or paddles etc. The other party tomorrow night has been dubbed his Vanilla 50th for family, friends and acquaintances.

So, there in lies my demons. We will be attending both nights, as will Stuart. This evening will be the first time my past will collide with my present and two of my lovers will meet. For most people this would just be an uncomfortable moment and then it would pass. For me, it’s all tangled up with Stuart’s longevity as a friend of 25 years, before he became anything more and his association with my ex-husband. His depth of knowledge of me and my past. Those are the memories that are running through my head, they are excruciatingly painful to revisit. Events, parties, gatherings were always a source of terror for me. I never knew what my ex-husband would say or do once he had a drink on him, but it would usually involve him humiliating me, or berating me, or he would flare up in a raging temper and drag me away stating I had embarrassed him and myself with my stupid chatter in front of friends, family and work colleagues, and then the row would start again once we got home, and would go on and on and on until I wanted to die.

Stuart had been a stalwart friend and supporter of me throughout that horrible time and that is where my feelings of affection for him are rooted. Without him, I’m not sure I would be sane now.

After the maelstrom of emotions yesterday, I’m not sure I am ready to stand between these two giant pillars, so ably represented by Tom and Stuart. I believe June will be present as well, I will deal with that when it happens, that holds no fear for me.

I have examined how I feel when Stuart’s name is mentioned, I feel nothing. Not even a slight pang for what might have been. We were not right for each other, he wanted to control all of me, he wanted to change me in a way that was too similar to my ex-husband’s control of me. He wanted to break the mould and remodel me into his version of an acceptable Gemma. He could have pulled it off too, if he hadn’t shown his rage to me. That was enough for me to turn away from him. It had been the beginning of the end of a very messed up time between us. It was the moment anything I felt for him became trapped behind steel.

I say I feel nothing, it’s safe to say you feel nothing when that person is not stood in front of you. I don’t know how I will feel when I see him. My biggest fear is that I will somehow betray Tom’s faith in me, in us, in who we are together. I still don’t call this ‘relationship’. I do call him mine. I do see myself as his.

If I wilfully ignore Stuart, it could be misconstrued as an act to hide how I really feel. If I speak to him, it could be misconstrued as me still feeling something for him. If I stick to Tom’s side like glue for the whole evening, it could be misconstrued as fear or that I don’t trust myself around Stuart. I have no idea how to calm my mind on this.
After much thought I have concluded my biggest fear is hurting Tom with my inability to be civil and polite with my past. I feel like I’m standing on quick sand.

Over the past three months Stuart has been mentioned a smattering of times in Tom’s presence usually by Graham or Sam. He has reacted mildly, shuttered eyes, tight lipped but no verbal reaction. He has never once said anything to me or asked me about my time with Stuart. Whatever his feelings are on the matter, he’s dealing with it privately.

Today I decided I needed to take the bull by the horns and broach the subject with him and clear the air. I need to know where his head is at. I need to get brave and trust he will be his usual supportive and understanding self.

In the end it was simple because he found me, I was sitting brooding at the kitchen table when he came in from the garden. He leaned down and kissed me briefly before heading for the coffee.

‘Can we talk about Stuart please Tom?’ I blurted the words before I could bury them again. I watched his broad back tense and then relax. He turned around and leaned his hip against the counter, ‘Are you sure you want to Gem? He’s been a no go zone since we met.’ His tone was neutral. I was encouraged by that.

‘I don’t want his past position in my life to affect us baby, I would like to clear him out and put it to rest. Can we do that?’ I had no idea what I wanted to say, I just wanted him to know we were sound.

Tom brought the coffees over to the table and sat down close to me, he sighed heavily. ‘Baby what do you want to hear? That I don’t care about your past lovers? I don’t. But, I’ve been watching you mull this over today and every other day this week when you’ve been alone and that tells me this Stuart is still a big deal for you.’ He was still neutral.

I sighed, ‘He’s not a big deal for me as a past lover, that’s gone. But we were very close friends for almost 25 years before that and I do still hold a deep affection for him in that regard. What came after was, in my opinion, a mistake and I am happy with the way things panned out. My concern is that in my head I know that’s how I feel, but I haven’t seen him since we parted company, and I don’t want you misunderstanding my reaction when I do see him. I don’t know what it’s going to be, I can’t predict the future, but I don’t want it to rock what we have. I don’t even know if I’m making any sense, I just need to know you understand that you and me is what I want, what we have is what I want and need and…’

Tom cut across my rambling half assed explanation. ‘Gem, it’s okay, I get it. I know you’re going to react to seeing him. You wouldn’t be human if you didn’t. Don’t get upset baby, I’m good with this.’ He leaned across and wiped a tear off my cheek with his thumb. I jumped, I hadn’t realised I was crying! I lifted my hand to my face and felt the wetness against my fingers. I looked at them in surprise.

He barked out a laugh, ‘you didn’t know you were crying? Damn baby, you really send my head places y’know.’

I wiped the tears from my face and smiled. ‘We good Tom?’ I asked cautiously.

He reached across and pulled me into his lap, wrapping his strong arms around me holding me to him. I looked up to see his face smiling down at me.

‘We are better than good Gem, you came to me. You opened up. You trusted me with us. This Stuart guy? He’s past history, you just gave me the present and future. I’m all good with that.’ His husky timber reached inside and turned me to liquid heat. He grinned, he knew the exact moment I went from wrung out to turned on, and he made full use of my change of mood.

He had caught the curve ball again and hadn’t dropped it. It was going to be okay.

Tom – Day 5 of 7 (Part 3)

Day 5 was a huge day! The levels of frustration, the pain and pleasure, the mind fucks were off the chart that day! Tom became unstoppable, there was something different about him. He was edgier, darker. This maintenance session had changed the shape of ‘us’ and he was embracing it with arms wide open. Denying me had turned him on more than giving me what I craved. He wanted me hungry. I was in deep trouble.

The kiss at the end of my after care blew my mind. It was hot and probing, his tongue thrust between my lips and danced around mine, he pulled me up hard against his chest, his hand dropping down between my thighs to my pulsing clit. He flicked that hard little nub and I let out a sob. His tongue plundered my mouth, taking my breath, sucking me in making me want more. I stirred against him and sat up, plucking at the buttons of his shirt, wanting to feel skin under my fingers. I tugged and pulled until I got where I wanted to be, his shirt fell open and I broke the kiss and wrapped my teeth around his hard nipple and I nipped then sucked then nipped again. He growled deep in his chest and I felt it rumble through me. Pussy reacted instantly, tightening her muscles deliciously, sending tiny shockwaves through me, lighting my insides up and fuelling my hunger.

His fingers stroked and flicked and slid inside pussy’s wet walls I closed my muscles around their full girth and rode them. He stopped thrusting and pulled my head back by my hair.

He trapped me in his gaze with a dark look, his lips were curling into that half smile that told me I was in dangerous territory. I didn’t care, I tugged hard against his tangled fingers and tried to attach my teeth to his nipple again. He pulled harder and I winced and stilled.

‘I will tame you Gem.’ His voice came out husky and low and his words vibrated through me. I snarled a little. He was hurting me, my head ached where his fingers gripped my hair.

‘Like hell you will, I will fight you!’ I ground out between clenched teeth as his fingers pushed deep inside me and opened up, stretching me wide, forcing his knuckles through, filling me up until I bucked hard to pull back and stop the pain that was making me so damned wet I could drown us both in my juices!

He laughed against my neck as he nipped and bit, his fingers pushing deeper inside, ‘I expect nothing less from you.’

Suddenly I was being lifted and turned and positioned over the spanking bench again, panic rose in my chest, I struggled against his grip on my hips, and he slapped my ass hard twice. ‘Be still woman.’ he demanded. I twisted in his hold but couldn’t break free, he pressed the weight of his whole body against the back of me and pinned me there while he dragged my arms into position and secured them on the arm rests. I snapped and snarled as he fastened the restraints against my calves.

‘Give it up baby, you won’t break these bonds.’ He murmured as I felt the coldness of his freshly lubed fingers slide between my cheeks, pushing them apart, revealing my tight bud, he slid his finger inside my ass and pushed and pulled and pumped, adding another finger then another. I was bucking and thrusting my ass back onto his fingers, he pulled them out and spanked my cheek. A feral growl escaped me as he plunged his cock in where his fingers had been and I howled as he filled me with his full length in one long thrust. I ground my backside against his thrusting cock and took him all the way in on every stroke.

The pace increased rapidly as he gripped my hips tightly, pounding my ass until I was begging for release, I screamed for him to make me come, I could feel my juices flowing down between my thighs. I was desperate and reaching but he knew I was close and slowed his pace and then pulled out of me. He walked around to the front of the bench and disposed of his condom before taking his time cleaning his cock, wiping his fingers. I had red hot rage burning through me. ‘I want off this damned bench’ I snarled at him.

He laughed, a full throated sound that came up from his belly. He crouched down to eye level with me and gripped my chin.

‘You want Gem? You’re not getting this are you? I already told you this morning You are going to damn well do as you’re told. But you don’t listen. You demand, or more precisely, our hungry little pussy demands and you facilitate. You can learn how to wait for me. I will deny you my cum, I will deny you my heat until I am ready and you are tamed and I have your complete submission.’ He leaned forward and kissed my mouth, running his tongue against my lips, smiling against my closed mouth.

‘What? You don’t want to open up for me?’ He grinned. I’ll take what I want then.’ He walked around the bench and stood behind me, his fingers probed my wet pussy and pinched my clit as he thrust his engorged cock in and began a long slow deliberate stroke, in and out as he pushed two fingers in my ass and stretched me wide again, I groaned, sobbed, begged for him to let me come. I needed him hard and fast and his measured strokes built the heat inside me but not enough to push me over the edge. My mind was spiralling and the only thought in my head was my hunger for Tom.

I bucked back against his throbbing shaft and tried to increase the pace, he leaned over my back and whispered in my ear. ‘I can keep going like this for hours, and I do mean hours baby. All you have to do is submit to me and you can have what you want.’

‘Fuck you.’ I ground out as he lifted his weight from me and he held my hips tightly and continued with his long, slow torturous stroking of my pussy walls.

We were locked in that battle of wills for three more hours before I caved in and gave him what he wanted.

I promised to submit to him whenever he wished. No matter the circumstances, no matter the company. I knew he was referring to Gray’s upcoming 50th celebrations at the weekend, I also knew Stuart would be there. I had finally worked out what was driving Tom.

Tom was claiming me, privately and publicly and woe betide Stuart if he got in the way of that. My submission was his ultimate prize.

He released me from the bench and wrapped me in a huge towelling robe to walk back up to the house, as we entered the kitchen he placed me on the table and we tore into each other. I cried when he gave me my release. It hit me so hard it hurt me, I held on to him so tight I gouged tram lines down his back with my nails. We were primal animals in full glorious lust and it blew our minds. Then he kissed my tears from my cheeks and took me to bed. I was exhausted, Tom was quietly triumphant, he never said a word.

We had changed the shape of everything again and I was once again exhilarated and terrified in equal measure.

Day 5 of 7 – The Spanking Bench! (Part 2)

We hadn’t really done much in the way of maintenance spanking or punishment either for that matter, mainly due to constraints in the house, limited alone time equals limited spanking time. Tom said I’m too noisy! Hence the sound proofing for the shed and the latest addition of a spanking bench!

Why we can’t just do OTK I don’t know but hey, since he asked Gray to step aside as disciplinarian, Tom’s in charge of this aspect so I have no say in it. I confess to being slightly curious though and just a little bit excited about trying the bench for the first time. At least I know I won’t be receiving a caning. I have mixed feelings on that subject but, hey, a spanking is still a spanking.

Anyway, Tom arrived to find me stood with my hands folded in front of me mimicking a good girl waiting for her instructions. I was only mimicking, he could see the defiance in my eyes and it wasn’t lost on him. He grinned, a full blown wide lipped grin that bared his teeth and reached his eyes. He was enjoying this!

‘You ready Gemma?’ He asked as he stepped behind me and began setting the bench up to his liking.

‘Suppose so’ I muttered sulkily I was still feeling robbed and conned.

He swatted my behind hard once with the flat of his hand. ‘Loose the attitude, or this will turn from maintenance to punishment, that means no play time later. I will not be happy about that either so your ass will pay for it.’

I bowed my head and wisely kept my mouth shut!

Finally satisfied everything was set up the way he wanted it he turned his attention back to me. ‘Strip naked and position yourself on the bench.’

My tummy curled with excitement and pussy began to sing her happy tune. I stripped naked in short time, and did as I was told. I knelt on the side benches and positioned myself on the top cushion, Tom had made some adjustments to it when it arrived because my arms didn’t reach the side arms properly. Oh yes, he also added straps to secure me in place!

Tom stepped up and attached the straps along each arm. He set to work strapping my legs into place too.

He moved back behind me and knelt down retrieving something from the shelf at the side of me. He fastened a leather belt around my waist and clipped it with quick release hooks to two eyelet bolt hooks he had screwed into the frame. I was going nowhere! I had zero wriggle room. My ass was gonna be toast!

‘Why do I have to be fastened in? It’s just a bloody maintenance spanking Tom.’ I was wriggling hard against my restraints but to no avail.

‘Because you wriggle and kick and pinch! Suck it up Gem, you brought it on yourself. Now, be a good girl and be quiet.’ His answer did little to mollify me. I hate being this out of control!

He walked around the bench and retrieved a polished wooden paddle from a row of implements hanging on hooks on the wall. He stood directly in front of my face and I belatedly realised, my mouth was at the perfect level for his cock! Bonus? I think so! Pussy contracted tightly at this realisation and I was getting very wet between my thighs which was not lost on Tom when he came back around to my jutting bottom.

I jumped as I felt his fingers stroke pussy for a moment and collect her juices. He leaned over my back and brought his finger to my mouth to suck. I obliged willingly. He growled deep in his throat and then pulled away from me.

The first stroke when it landed shocked me and I swore. My bottom exploded in twin points of pain, one on each cheek. This paddle covered them both at the same time. He waited a moment and then delivered the second stroke. I howled and tried to wriggle. The only thing I could move was my hips! This was not good at all!

The third stroke landed quickly followed by the fourth and I yowled and yelped and still tried to wriggle! I heard him chuckle behind me as the fifth stroke landed, covering my sit spot on both sides and I swore like a trouper at the stinging pain that exploded there. My bottom had set up a steady throbbing pain and I was very, very sore in no time at all. He delivered another 10 strokes before he ceased.

‘Well that works exceptionally well!’ I turned my head to see his face and he was grinning like a bloody Cheshire Cat!

Your paddle is a success!?! My ass is on fire and you’re happy because the damned paddle works well? Seriously!?!’

People, I need to learn when to keep my big mouth shut!

He turned his gaze onto me and smiled, ‘Yeah baby, it worked so well you can have it for 25 more after that little tantrum.’

He continued to spank me with the paddle for another 25 strokes, taking them across both cheeks and both thighs. I was yowling and swearing, I did everything I could to try and break my restraints! Cos y’know, I think I’m super woman or something! All I achieved was the humiliation of hearing him laugh at my puny attempts.

He appeared before me and hung up the paddle, he took down a long leather strap that looked extremely unforgiving and I began to tense my cheeks in anxiety. I was right to be anxious.

‘I wasn’t going to try this today, but given your temper tantrum is in full swing and I’m horny as hell watching you, I think we’ll carry on for a little longer. You ready Gem?’ I could hear the rasp in his voice, he really was turned on by this. I decided to stop fighting it and give in gracefully and take what was coming to me.

He stepped up behind me and the first stroke lifted me off my knees! I had nowhere to go and no way to avoid the next stroke or the next or the next. Jesus this stung like nothing else! My bottom was already hot and throbbing from the paddle spanking, this laid on top was excruciating and I was wailing in no time! Real tears began to fall as I sobbed and begged for him to stop, slow down, just stop, I was sorry… a whole host of laments came pouring out of me and fell on deaf ears. Tom had found his stride and he brought that strap home for 30 strokes before he stopped.

I was in a world of pain now, and I physically jumped when I felt his finger nails graze over my heated globes. Goose bumps rushed across the sensitive surface and he smacked them as they appeared. Short sharp slaps that sent shivers of pain through me. Pussy thought different and began to sing her siren’s song to me. I am a hopeless slave to my damned pussy! Less than a minute had passed and I was wet and throbbing and desperate for his fingers to sink inside me. He knew it too, he leaned over me and whispered in my ear.

‘Our pussy appears to be enjoying this, makes me think I’ve not been thorough enough…’

I immediately began pleading with him, ‘No! No more please, I’m so sore Tom, please don’t spank me anymore now.’

‘Uh huh, so why is pussy so wet Gem?’ He chuckled behind me as he ran his fingers along her swollen lips. He didn’t push through though and I tried to push back but couldn’t push back far enough. I decided right there I didn’t like this blasted spanking bench one bit!

Tom laughed and moved to the left side of the bench. I watched as he set a clamp up at the end of the work bench and then attached the rod to it for the spanking machine.

‘What are you doing? Why are you setting the machine up? I don’t need anymore spanking Tom, I promise I’ll be good baby.’ I whined and cajoled and pleaded. Deaf ears again!

He appeared in front of me and crouched down so he was face to face with me. He kissed the tears from my cheeks before he said ‘I want to try something, I don’t want to cane you, you say you want to be caned, so I’ve found a way we both get what we want. He smiled a really, really wicked smile before he stood up again and reached for the cane.

My eyes were as big as saucers! Please remember the machine works in increments of time not count! The lowest amount of strokes I would receive in a minute would be 20 if he had it on the lowest speed setting! My ass really was toast!

I began to cry properly now, it had been a long time since I had been spanked this thoroughly and with such force too. I really didn’t want the caning right now.

‘Baby please, don’t do this now, I’ll take it later I promise, but please no more now. I really am sore.’ I begged quietly hoping it would reach him.

‘Do you want to use your safe word Gem? All you have to do is say it and we stop. Right now. I promise.’ He was crouched down in front of me and I could see the sincerity in his eyes.

I have never used my safe word for a spanking! I took the 20 with the cane! Bastard. He knows how to work me. He crouched and watched my face for the whole 20 strokes. He kissed the tears away from my cheeks before he stood up and released me from the bench.

I stumbled to my feet and grabbed my behind and danced on the spot for 5 minutes. I was sobbing and howling. He came up behind me and wrapped me up in his big arms and lifted me. He sat down on a stool and held me until I stopped crying. He stroked my head, my back, spoke quietly and soothingly to me until I had calmed down. Then he kissed me.

Damn if that kiss didn’t set off a whole chain of events that also included the spanking bench, but for a whole different purpose!

Tom – Day 5 of 7 (Part 1)

Tom had beaten me to the sofa this morning and was sat legs spread wide, one arm stretched along the back of the sofa his other hand stroking his long thick cock slowly, his eyes dark, his mood dangerous. He filled the room with his intensity, it stirred an answering call deep inside me as I lifted my head from the pillow to watch him.

‘Want…’ my sleep filled voice was husky and I saw his hand spasm around his cock tightly as my single word reached his ears, he resumed the pace and continued to stroke, his eyes snagged mine and held my gaze.

I crawled down the bed and lay directly in front of him with my arms folded under my chin. I broke free from his gaze as I greedily took in every detail of his magnificent body. His cock was loaded with precum. I pouted a little, ‘please?’ I whispered, never taking my gaze from his throbbing stiffness.

His breath quickened as his hand pumped his shaft, pulling the precum down to lubricate him as his fingers slid over the bulging tip. A small disappointed sigh escaped me.

More precum oozed. ‘My turn?’ I whispered, licking my lips holding his eyes with mine.

‘No.’ He growled. His lip curled in a half smile as I made a sad face at his denial.

‘But I want…’ I gave him doe eyes, pouty lips, breathy sighs.

He remained unmoved. ‘You can’t have it, you can only watch.’

My pout became real, ‘Why?’

‘Because today baby, you do as you are damn well told.’

His grin was evil! I mean pure evil. Pussy contracted and pulsed. His pulsing cock drew my hungry gaze again. He let out a short laugh and stroked and pulled and smoothed that tight skin over his rock hard cock. He was actually enjoying creating this hunger in me just to deny me. It wasn’t fair.

My inner brat came out to play, I was seriously miffed. I sat up and swung my legs over the end of the bed.

‘Don’t you want pussy wrapped around your lovely thick cock, squeezing it, pulling it in deep, soaking it in my juices? Don’t you want that baby?’ Two could play at this game.

‘I’ll take that later… maybe’. His voice rumbled in his chest, he was close to climaxing, his leg muscles were taught, his face tense, his eyes shuttered.

Maybe?? What the hell? I was incensed!

‘Well maybe I should just get out a toy and wrap pussy around that instead then.’ I jumped up off the bed and walked to the night stand where I kept a myriad of different toys.

‘Use the smallest one you can find baby. You don’t get filled till I say so.’ There was something dark in his tone and it stilled my haste to play this my way.

I felt my juices soaking the top of my thighs, I was confused by my own body’s reaction to his words. My hand had closed around the biggest dildo in the drawer and it was as big as Tom for sure, I hesitated then moved to the slimmest and shortest one, stuck at the back out of sight. I pulled it out and spread lube along it’s 6″ length.

‘Climb on the bed, hands and knees so I can see our pussy eat that dildo.’ His growl rolled over me, my skin shivered with a layer of goose bumps. He had climbed inside my head and was driving me, again!

I did as I was told, I moved down the bed to the end and positioned myself on hands and knees with my pussy so close he could see her swollen lips coated in my juices. I parted her lips and exposed my core to him, he grunted, and she spasmed. juices oozed, I ran my fingers through her and stroked and probed for a moment, enjoying the slick wetness coating my fingers.

‘Don’t fucking play! Use the damned dildo, Now!’ His tone was harsh and gritty.

I was shocked and then inexplicably excited at the same time. I pulled the dildo through my juices and along pussy, it’s cold impersonal touch did nothing to cool her down.

‘Fuck it baby.’ He ordered.

I pressed the tip of the dildo into pussy’s waiting hole, it slid in with no resistance. I was accustomed to the size of Tom’s cock, this was a poor substitute. Half the girth and nowhere close to his length. It was going in the bin after this!

It didn’t matter, Tom groaned deeply behind me as he watched me fuck that dildo for all I was worth. I ground my hips down on it and pulled it deep inside me. I squeezed my muscles around it, aching for my orgasm. It remained out of reach.

‘You can’t get there can you baby? You need my cock in you to make you come don’t you.’ He leaned forward and gripped my butt cheek with his hand and squeezed hard. I yelped and groaned and ground down on the ineffectual dildo.

Frustration bubbled up, ‘Fuck you!’ I swore as I withdrew the dildo and turned to face him, I sat at the end of the bed again with my legs spread, fingers buried deep inside pussy, and I lifted that ridiculous little dildo and licked it clean of my juices, wrapping my tongue around it, curling it under the silicone head, lapping at it, sucking it in deep.

Tom was not immune. He leaned forward and pinched my hard nipple between his forefinger and thumb. I squealed and then groaned.

He growled deeply and came in jagged spasms over his stomach. I crawled off the bed towards him and he placed his foot on my shoulder to stop me getting to him. He shook his head and grinned as he picked up the wipes and cleaned his stomach of his juices.

I was furious! ‘You are being really mean Tom. I wouldn’t deny you like that.’

He smiled lazily at my frustration. ‘I know baby, but then, I’m not due a spanking and you are. That makes all the difference.’

‘That in mind, get dressed and go wait for me in the shed. We’re going to put the new bench through its paces today.’ He said laughing as he got up and walked to his closet.

I stormed off to the bathroom in frustration, the sound of his laughter filling my ears.

Tom – Day 4 of 7

Yesterday kick started a hunger deep inside me, I can feel it crawling through me, pussy throbs heavily, incessantly, not her usual mild song of ‘can we play’! This is insistent, demanding, find him, take him, feed me! It’s early, too early to wake Tom, but I don’t care.

I paced at the end of the bed, I’ve tried soothing pussy with masturbation but she’s not giving it up. It isn’t flirty fingers she wants it’s Tom. All of him. My pussy is in control of my mind and body right now and I have no control.

I’ve gone feral. This all consuming feeling is new to me, I am predatory. I want to bite, scratch, fuck and drain him and then start all over again. I’m hungry.

He is sound asleep, arm thrown over his eyes against the early morning sun streaming in across the bed, sheet barely covering his hips, naked chest covered in a light sheen of sleep sweat. His massive frame makes the whole picture raw and rugged and I hear myself growl low in my throat. I am so damned hungry!

I stood at the bottom of the bed and tugged the sheet away from him slowly revealing his beautiful rigid cock. This was more than his usual ‘morning glory’ erection. Either he was having a hot dream or he was awake and waiting.

I didn’t care, if it was a hot dream, I would add myself to his dynamic. I would control his dream from the outside. I wanted him inside me. If he’s awake, then he’s already aware of my mood. He knows, he can feel it coming off me in waves. His cock twitches and jumps as I let out a small snarl. Precum glistens at his tip.

He’s awake. I slid up the bed, stroking his leg lightly running fingertips along his thigh across his flat stomach, I flick my finger tip across the tip of his cock and collect a small prize, I suck the taste of him off my finger on my way up to the smattering of hair on his chest. Just enough for me to fist my hand into a ball and tug. Pussy contracts at the taste of him, my thighs are wet, dripping with juices.

I’m on all fours at his side, I want to straddle his hips and take him, but he’s resisting. Staying on his side. Denying me. I tug at the hair again and he drags in a sharp breath. I smile and mount his hip.

He doesn’t move, his breathing is ragged but he’s denying me access to my prize. I run my nails down his chest, sharp jagged needles across his skin, a flurry of goose bumps shower his torso at the light pain I’m inflicting. I can hear a low rumbling growl coming from deep inside his chest but still he doesn’t move.

My frustration mounts, I rub my wet mound across his hip, I rock myself over his hip bone and mimic the act, still with one hand tangled in his chest hair, the other travelling down to his thick shaft. I find my prize again, more clear precum. I swipe my finger and raise it to my lips and suck. I close my eyes and savour his salty gift. I drop my fingers back down and wrap them around his thick pulsing shaft and I stroke, and grip and slide them along the length of him and then back down to the base. Slowly, steadily, methodically robbing him of his breath, forcing his pulse to pound, driving his hunger for release.

His growl erupts from his chest and I am elated by the sound. Excitement courses through me as I slide from my mount and drop down to slide my hungry mouth along his thick pulsing cock.

He grabs a handful of my hair and pushes my head down further, forcing his cock all the way in and down my throat, I gag, and gasp as he begins to thrust his hips and grip my head until I choke on his length. Only then does he allow me to withdraw for air. Spittle runs from my lips, hangs from my chin as he pulls my head back and our eyes lock. His powerful lust calls to my feral hunger and I snarl as he tightens his grip on my hair. Excitement courses through me and arrows down to my pussy. I’m so wet and slick, it’s a crime to waste it all.

I bring my body around so he can have me with his mouth as I slide my lips down his length and then pull back to suck on his swollen tip, my tongue flicks along the sensitive rim and I feel him buck and thrust deeper into me. He releases my hair and grabs my hips and grinds them down onto his face as he rolls onto his back and pins my hips with his powerful arms. He sucks and strokes, and flicks his tongue everywhere, my clit is pulsing heavily, I am desperate to cum, his perfect tongue thrusts deep inside pussy’s wet walls and he brings his fingers into play. My face is impaled on his thick shaft and he fucks it, harder and faster as his passion grows. I take it all.

I feel the sharp sting of the first hard slap across my ass and it sends a shockwave of painful pleasure straight to my pussy and she begins her steady climb to the top. He spanks again and again, measuring his spanks with my rhythm on his cock.

His cock thickens impossibly, I am stretched to my limit but I can’t stop. He thrusts up into my mouth as his fingers sink deeply into my pussy and invade my ass and I rock back on them and growl loudly around his girth. I explode inside and a scream rips through me. I soak him in my juices and shudder and rock harder against his probing fingers as my orgasm tears at my insides.

He arches and roars his satisfaction as his hot cum shoots down the back of my throat, he bucks and pumps harder, I swallow and suck and take all of it and still there is more. His hand grips my hair again and pulls me off him, his last shot of hot cream hits my cheek and lips and now it’s his turn to snarl. His lip curls and his eyes are dark and dangerous.

I woke a sleeping beast and I am his prey… now he will feed my hunger.

Tom – Day 3 of 7

I sat at my desk reading the computer screen, my leg hooked over the arm of the chair with my fingers lazily stroking my pussy. Technically, I wasn’t masturbating, I was soothing her. She had kicked up a fuss at something I had just read and I was putting her back to sleep! Honest!

A client had sent me the first draft of her new work to edit. She was worried about the sex scenes in particular. With oodles of every kind of sex thrown in for good measure, it was my job to see if they worked, I was very distracted with abstract images of hot sweaty, bodies filling my mind.

From nowhere Tom’s arm came over my shoulder and his hand covered mine over pussy. I jumped and looked up at him. His eyes were intense, horny and determined.

‘Keep stroking baby, put more effort in, I want to feel those fingers slip inside you.’ He growled low against my neck,

I groaned as he pushed my fingers inside pussy along with two of his own, he came around the front of the chair and lifted me, dropping down into the seat with me now on his lap and our fingers still inside me.

‘What you readin’ that’s got our pussy so hot and wet baby?’ He muttered as he focused on our fingers driving inside me.

‘I’m working…’ I gasped, ‘editing… sex scenes, make sure they work… umm… ohh…’ I was writhing against our fingers. I moaned deeply as his thrust deeper taking mine with them. I was full and my hips rose up insistently to meet our down thrust.

He locked his gaze with mine, as he pushed for control. ‘Uh huh, read it out loud, so I can hear it.’

I pushed back a little, raising an eyebrow at his request. ‘Uh, have you run out of ideas or something?’ I bucked up against his hand, letting out soft little cries as his big hand began thrusting our fingers in harder and faster, his thumb was stroking my clit and I was climbing towards a huge orgasm! I could feel it low and deep, building steadily.

‘Uh uh, nowhere close, we haven’t even scratched the surface of what I’m gonna do to you. Read it baby, I wanna know what’s got you turned on so good.’ His voice rumbled low in my ear and I let out a feral cry. He was in full marauder mode. No stopping him.

I began to read the words that were now dancing on the screen, I could barely focus. He laughed against the side of my neck, ‘poor baby, you sound a little distracted, you want me to read it out loud for you?’ His voice rumbled through me and it was all I could do to nod weakly as he got busy popping buttons on my shirt, freeing my breasts into his waiting hand. His big palm cupped and squeezed my breasts together, nipping my neck with his teeth and plunging his fingers inside pussy keeping mine trapped there with him. I was under a full on Tom assault and I was drowning!

‘Pull the screen forward Gem.’ he muttered. I pulled the screen closer and zoomed the page so he could read it easily from behind me.

As his fingers continued the physical onslaught that had me gripping his powerful arm for dear life as I rode our fingers he began his verbal onslaught of my senses.

‘Sofia lay legs spread wide on the king sized bed, her hands gripped the sheets, her head tossing from side to side as she moaned softly. Aiden had his head buried between her legs licking her pussy. She was groaning and begging him to make her cum hard in his mouth… ‘

Tom stopped reading and stared at me, ‘This got our pussy all turned on? This? Where’s the heat? Where’s the passion? It needs dialogue! I think we need to examine how this really works and you can tell her how to spice that flat piece of writing up and put real sex in it baby.’

I was laughing in between moans, I couldn’t help it, ‘Tom stop it, she’s a good writer… she struggles to write sex scenes that’s all. It’s a first draft…’

‘How the hell did this turn you on baby?’ he was genuinely confused.

I laughed, moaned and shook my head simultaneously. I grabbed at his fingers and stopped the steady thrusting. ‘Not that, wait… I’ll show you…’ I sat up and clicked on a second screen, a fully edited version of an earlier section popped up. ‘It was this..’ I was gasping again as his fingers had returned to their thrusting, my own fingers were soaked in pussy’s juices, I turned into him and relaxed against his chest, opening my legs and bracing one foot on the edge of the desk as the other hung over the arm of the chair, I sank into the fire that was steadily licking at my insides, burning me stripping my defences away and then the first wave came and hit me, I moaned loudly, I grabbed his arm tightly as my orgasm rippled slowly and built to a tidal wave crashing over me. I trembled in his hold, and he stopped reading for a moment and caught my mouth with his, his tongue took my mouth, his fingers took my pussy and I got lost inside him.

He broke the kiss and smiled against my mouth, I opened my eyes to see his face, I lifted my hand and stroked his cheek, ‘it’s only the first draft baby, it still needs work.’ I mumbled.

He chuckled, ‘what does? the story or you?’

A wicked smile spread across my lips as I stretched against him, ‘um… both.’ I whispered as I worked my fingers inside his shirt and found a hard nipple to tweak and play with.

He pushed the chair away from the desk and I shrieked delightedly as I was suddenly upended on his lap with my legs over his shoulders and my back along his chest. He wrapped his powerful arms around my hips and pulled them up to his mouth, I clamped my legs around his head as he buried his face in my pussy sucking my clit so hard I saw stars, I threw my head back and moaned loudly, ‘Oh God Tom, don’t stop…’ I sobbed out as I thrust harder against his probing tongue.

He lifted his head for a moment and grinned at me, You know the section I just read was about anal sex, right?’ he mumbled as he buried his clever tongue deep inside my soaking pussy while he used his thumb to work my clit into a frenzy. I thrust my hips up and pressed pussy harder against his mouth. ‘I know… it’s why she’s so wet…’ I gasped as my second orgasm began to roll through me, it hit hard and fast with fireworks exploding in my head as I screamed in ecstasy.

I was shuddering and sobbing as he continued his onslaught of my clit with his tongue sucking it in and nipping the sensitive little bud with his teeth. I yelped and squirmed as he dragged me upright and into a straddle across his hips.

His fingers stroked me, one of them probed my ass sinking in deeply, stretching it, I growled and pushed back against it.

‘It’s time this tight little bud got stretched to its limit,’ he muttered against my mouth, I sobbed and nodded, as his fingers worked me front and back until I was rocking and moaning against him, begging him not to stop, grasping at him, grabbing handfuls of his hair as another orgasm ripped through me while images of his cock filling every hole one after the other flooded my mind. He opened his jeans and slid his cock out and lifted me onto him. With one thrust he was inside me, and I clamped down on him gripping him with my muscles, riding him for all I was worth. He gripped my backside hard and held me still as he thrust up until we were flush. No space between us, he growled against my ear, ‘imagine what this would feel like in your tight little ass baby, you think you can take it?’ His fingers were playing with my ass as his cock pulsated in my pussy, my mind was being blown, I could barely lift my head up, I was so lost in all the sensations exploding inside me.

I wanted him to fill every hole too… ‘oh god yes…’ I ground out between clenched teeth and it was his turn to groan deeply and for a long time as he shot his cum deep inside me filling me with heat, my head dropped down on his shoulder as my orgasm rolled over his dragging us both down with it’s force. I clamped my muscles tightly against his throbbing cock as he spilled himself till he was done.

Jesus, Tom…’ I mumbled, when I could speak again.

He barked out a short laugh and slapped my ass as he lifted me and turned me to face the screen. He pointed a finger midway through the first paragraph. ‘It’s the next part on the page, but it’s narrative so I gave you dialogue.’ He grunted, ‘I’m just gonna remind you though, you have agreed…’

I lifted my head slowly and looked at him. I had my predator back, he was finally going to get what he wanted. All my holes would be his to claim.

He growled deep in his chest, stood up and carried me up the stairs. It would be a long time before I got back to work…

By the end of day 3 I knew my client had a lot of reworking to do for those scenes! Tom was nothing if not thorough!

Tom – day 2 of 7

Tom is still in full marauder mode, but he has a meeting this morning with a client so I have a reprieve. Tom in a dark suit and white shirt! YUM! Oh baby, that look on him is downright rude! I was positively panting when he came to say goodbye. He laughed and slapped my ass and said, ‘Be good until I get home, then you can help me take it off.’

I grinned, ‘Okay, I’m in!’ I said as I kissed him. I watched as he walked out of the house. Damn! Tom in a suit is a fine sight to see, but Tom naked is a whole different feast for my eyes and one I never tire of seeing. I was getting turned on just thinking about it. I despair of my own body sometimes, I’m aching in muscles I didn’t even know I had due to the Marauder chasing me round all day yesterday and here I am looking for more of the same! A lot more…

At one point yesterday, I thought I might actually be in danger of begging him to stop as he’d predicted. It didn’t happen, but it was a close run thing! He did get the tears though, that kind of erotic, feral onslaught is pretty much guaranteed to bring tears with it, and those tears are his pay off. They slow him down, he takes his time then, savouring the taste of my submission.

I asked him later about the tears aspect and he said, ‘It’s the only time you’re vulnerable and show it. I revel in the fact I’ve made you feel that way.’ I could hear the growl in his voice as his mind went back to the moment he had tasted my tears. I saw the same powerful lust appear in his eyes again as I had earlier.

I am fascinated with the many layers of this man. He is never one thing for very long, he is never one mood for very long. He is never, ever submissive himself anymore. Probably a good thing really, I’m a handful even on my most well behaved days!

Tom has taken over the role of disciplinarian in my life, Graham happily took a step sideways and relinquished his duties. It was a conversation that did not include me, but then, why would it? I need that structure in my life and as long as I get it, I’m all good with Tom taking care of it. As is he. He is in the process of updating my spanking implements to some that are big enough for his hand to hold comfortably. My hairbrush looks ridiculously small and ineffectual when his big hand closes around it.

He doesn’t really like using the cane. He worries he will be too harsh. I remind him of Graham’s brand of caning and I tried to reassure him that even though it hurts like blazes at the time, it cleanses me inside and makes me feel whole again. We’re still working on finding some middle ground with that. Right now he’s adamant that there will be no caning.

Regardless, we’ve had some very long and interesting conversations about my spanking needs and the upshot is, I will be spanked once a week for an hour (not all at once, hopefully) for maintenance and twice a week because he can and he knows it turns me on. If I do something that deserves a spanking, well, that’s quite a different story.

Due to Sam being at home with us for the majority of the time, spanking in the house has to wait until he goes out for a couple of hours. Tom is nothing if not resourceful. He has decided that the shed is perfect for delivering a punishment or maintenance spanking, and he has sound proofed the shed and cleared out all the old detritus to make room for a purpose built spanking bench with some Tom modifications that quite frankly do not bode well for my ass! No escape will be possible! Once those doors are closed, no one can hear a thing outside. I know because I put the stereo on full blast, stepped outside and locked the doors and I could barely hear it at all. It was booming loud enough to rattle windows!

People, this means my ass is toast!

My squealing, shouting, yelling, swearing and general howling while undergoing a spanking is going to go entirely un-noticed by my neighbours. In other words, Ms Ashton. Shame, she really would lock her doors and never come out again if she heard me taking a spanking from Tom!

I am being exceptionally well behaved at the moment because I have already had two extra spankings this week and my bottom is still hot and sore from the last one yesterday. But…I’m horny. It’s Tom’s fault, he was wearing that suit! I haven’t been able to get his image out of my mind all morning and now I am the one who is on a rampage looking for feral sex!

By the time Tom came home I was chock full of lust. Plain and simple, I needed fucking hard and fast right now or I might actually pop with frustration! I know I’ve grown into a highly sexual being since I started on this self discovery thing, but… even at my wildest I have never experienced feral lust the way I feel it right now.

Tom’s mood was distracted when he came in my office to let me know he was home. He leaned down and kissed the back of my neck and then stood back as I turned my chair to face him.

I looked up at him and could see the tension in his jaw. ‘Meeting not go well?’ I asked.

‘Not as well as I hoped, the damned woman spent more time trying to get into my pants than concentrating on the presentation. I actually feel fucking dirty.’ Wow he was upset, rightfully so too, he is a total professional when it comes to work. He barely even notices gender difference at all. I’ve seen him in action once or twice when he’s held meetings here. Deferential but firm and no nonsense. This woman must have been a piece of work!

I stood up and wrapped my arms around his waist and stood on tip toe to reach his jaw with my lips. Unless he bends there is no reaching his mouth! He bent and took the kiss I was offering. But… he didn’t bite. He didn’t let it grow and he extracted himself after a few moments.

‘I’m sorry Gem, I need to get hold of her boss before she has time to rubbish the presentation because I turned her down for a fuck.’ His eyes were cold, a rarity for brown eyes. I let go of him and sat down again.

‘Go sort it baby, I’ll still be here when you’re ready.’ I smiled at him and he bent down and kissed me once and then left.

I followed him and stood at the office door to hear his conversation with his client. He did not hold back. He gave him the full account of what had transpired between the man’s assistant and himself. I saw his shoulders relax a little as he went quiet and listened to whatever his client was saying at the other end. Obviously this was not ending well for the randy assistant! 5 minutes later Tom hung up the phone and sighed deeply.

I walked up behind him and placed my hands on his shoulders and massaged them through the material of his crisp white shirt. He leaned back and reached for me, pulling me around him and onto his lap.

‘All sorted?’ I probed as my fingers worked on his shirt buttons slowly.

‘Uh huh, she came in while I was talking to him, I think she’s got some trouble coming. Upshot is, I have sent Paul the presentation via email and he will assess it himself. So, no harm done.’ His fingers mimicked my own actions as they began undoing the buttons of my blouse.

I leaned down and sucked his nipple in between my teeth and nipped gently making him growl deep in his throat, my hands were working his belt buckle and zip, deftly removing obstacles on my way to what I was craving.

He caught my mouth with his and I could feel his smile against my lips. ‘You hungry baby?’ He murmured as I released him from his pants and caught his rigid cock in my hand and stroked it.

‘Uh huh… hungry…’ I muttered as my hand stroked the length of him and my finger circled the head collecting his pre-cum. I raised my finger to my mouth and slid my lips over it tasting him.

The phone rang. Tom laughed at my expression of frustration as he leaned around me and answered.

It was Paul again, Tom was laughing at something that he’d said, so I slid off his knee and settled myself between his legs. I slid my mouth down the full length of his cock and took it all the way to the back of my throat, slowly, slowly, I drew back to his throbbing tip. I locked eyes with him and saw primal lust gazing back at me, his big hand covered the back of my head and held it as he thrust his hips forward at the same time, I held on to his thighs, gripping them tightly as his cock filled my mouth to the back of my throat again, he tangled his fingers in my hair and tugged and pushed as he fucked my mouth with long firm strokes.

I had no control. It was all Tom and he was watching my face intently as he talked politely and professionally to his client. His voice betrayed nothing. His eyes exposed him. He was my marauder again and he was getting real close to filling my mouth with his seed. His thigh muscles tensed against my sharp nails and he thrust his hips up and buried his cock again and again deep into my waiting mouth. I sucked, hard, applying suction to his full shaft, I was desperate to make him cum and cum hard! I wanted all of him and I wasn’t stopping until I had him.

I worked my hand inside his pants and cupped his balls, rolling them between my fingers and he jerked, his jaw tightened but his voice never changed. I ran my finger backwards along the throbbing ridge behind his sack to his ass, I pressed the tip of my finger just inside and he bucked up hard and began pumping my mouth with his cock hard and fast, a few moments later his head fell back as he tensed every muscle and silently shot his hot seed straight down my throat, filling my mouth, I swallowed he gave me more, it spilled down my chin and he shot more. He continued to buck, and thrust and I maintained the pressure of my finger in his ass rubbing the sensitive skin, rolling his balls as he pumped and fucked my mouth until he was spent.

He hadn’t made a single sound and continued his conversation for a further 10 minutes. Me? He kept me on my knees with his hard cock still in my mouth as he pumped slowly in and out. I was in my own version of heaven and I was soaking wet and ready for when this damned conversation ended. I was riding my marauder all the way home to my own raging orgasm and nothing was getting in my way!

3 Months Later…Day 1 of 7

Sam (I can’t keep calling him the Boy) is away on another outward bound course. Since he left yesterday evening Tom has reverted to his default setting of sex, spanking and more sex and he is positively growling! I’m not kidding!

My bottom is hot and sore, pussy is throbbing her happy tune, my head is full of erotic thoughts and Tom is on a mission! He has decided the only way to keep me in line this week is to keep me naked, spanked and fucked and not necessarily in that order. So far today, we started the morning off with a very long HOT shower, progressing to a mid morning kitchen rampage! From nowhere I found myself upended over his knee for a sound hand spanking, quickly followed by him bending me over the kitchen table for a second round of hard and fast sex which was amazing!

Less than an hour later I was up against a wall in the lounge with my leg thrown over his shoulder, with his head between my thighs. His mouth sucked my clit then his clever tongue thrust up into my pussy then along my labia and then circled my clit again and sucked it in between his teeth nipping gently before thrusting his tongue back inside me until I was gripping his head and bucking against his mouth, spilling my juices onto his tongue and groaning loudly. I was in ecstasy!

I retreated shortly there after to do some stuff upstairs where I was ambushed and told to assume the position over the end of the bed for another spanking but this time with the Jokari paddle, (I am learning to hate that damned paddle!) By mid afternoon I had taken refuge in my office but there was nowhere to hide! Over the desk and OMG that MAN! Seriously, I can’t find the off switch!

Don’t get me wrong, I am loving all this attention, he is so controlled when Sam is around, and we act like any normal couple would with a third party present. Properly! Tom makes sure of it! (They get on famously by the way! After two months, Sam made the suggestion that Tom should move in with us seeing as he was here all the time anyway!)

That was a month ago. Since then, Sam has been home for most of the month but he’s now back in the Lake District for a 7 day course and I have a giant horny bear of a man stalking me around the house on a sexual rampage because he’s switched of his self control and gone for marauder extraordinaire! And growling… it’s the only way to describe the low rumble he keeps emitting when he finds me!

I’m out in the garden now, not hiding, just making sure the hot tub is set up for tonight, I have a feeling I will need to sink into it and let those jets ease my aching muscles and sore bottom!

So, the hot tub is down the bottom end of the garden and completely private now that Tom has installed 5ft fencing and trellising around it to hide us from accidental exposure. (Courtesy of Graham recounting the story to Tom one night of how he and I met! (see : Will I never learn?) I got my backside paddled all over again for that once Graham had gone home!)

I was in the process of changing the filter which required me to lean over the side of the tub. I heard my nosy next door neighbour shouting to Tom as he headed down the garden, she gets all flushed and giggly every time she sees him and always tries to flirt with him. Ha! she’s got no chance in hell! Her boobs aren’t big enough and neither is her ass! She’s so slim Tom reckons she would snap in half if he even touched her. Regardless, it meant that for once today I got a heads up he was on his way. I had just righted myself and disposed of the mucky filter when he came around the corner.

‘You hiding from me baby?’ He murmured as he slipped his arms around my waist and pulled me to him.

I grinned at him ‘nope, just down here sorting the tub out ready for this evening.’

‘Uh huh, is it done?’ He asked casually.

I nodded and he flashed me a wicked smile, his eyes filled with pure lust as his hands stroked my ass and got busy pushing my skirt up over my hips, his fingers slid between my thighs and lit pussy up like a firework display! I don’t know about Tom being insatiable, I wasn’t that far behind him! His fingers slid inside me and my legs opened for him, he smiled against my mouth as his big hand covered my pussy and sank three fingers in, ‘good girl, you know you’re taking all of them don’t you, spread your legs wide baby…’

I groaned and leaned against the shed wall and spread my legs for him. He pushed his fourth finger inside me and stretched me wide with his huge hand. I gripped his powerful shoulders and dug my nails in deep as I pushed down against his thrust and he pushed up harder, it was deliciously painful and his hand became slick with my juices. I bucked and growled low in my throat as he began to increase the pace, he grabbed my hair with his other hand and pulled my head back for his kiss, his tongue thrust into my mouth as his fingers filled my pussy and I was climbing fast towards yet another orgasm. He let go of my hair and dragged his hand down to the front of my work shirt and he yanked it open popping buttons everywhere until he released my breasts. He gripped one as it tumbled into his waiting hand. I moaned deeply into his mouth and pushed my breast harder against his grip. I was full of Tom, he was everywhere all at once, filling me, fucking me, squeezing me.

He let go of me long enough to turn me around and I braced myself at arms length against the shed wall. He spread my legs as he released his throbbing cock from his jeans and slid it deep inside me in one hard thrust. He gripped my hair in his fist and pulled my head back and he sank his tongue into my waiting mouth again. I sucked his tongue as he fucked me, I groaned loudly as my climax climbed, he thrust harder and faster as he let go of my hair and slid his hand around my throat and stretched me, arching my back, while he used his massive body to absorb me into him.

I had no thoughts, just the most amazing sensations of painful pleasure that took over until I jerked hard and squeezed my muscles around his thick member and rode my orgasm home as wave after wave of hot tremors flooded through me. My head was empty of everything save this big man, I was a mass of rolling emotions and sensations, I heard myself emitting a long low feral growl which caused Tom to thrust harder and faster against the tidal wave I was gripped in. He smiled against my mouth again and whispered, ‘I’m gonna fuck you until you beg me to stop, until you have nothing left to give and I have your tears in my mouth.’

He continued to thrust against my tightened muscles and I clenched harder around him and pushed my ass out to take all of him again and again. He grunted low in his throat and held me firmly on his cock as he pumped his hot seed into me filling me with its heat. I climaxed hard and fast around his thick throbbing cock, it came from nowhere and floored me, ripping through me, my legs buckled and he pulled me up against him as he continued to thrust until he was spent.

As he slid out of me we heard a shrill voice on the other side of the fence. ‘Gemma, are you alright? You sound like you’re in pain! Can I help you?’

I got a fit of the giggles as Tom very calmly responded, ‘She’s just fine Ms Ashton, we were just having a little fun is all.’

Damn I wish I could have seen her face!

The Time Between (Day 5 of 9)

Days between ‘day 5 and three months later’ were spent talking, circling each other, gauging each others reactions. Curve balls thrown and caught on both sides. Learning how to be with each other in a different mind set. Everything we had followed to date was changing and morphing into a new regime for us to live inside and a terrifying range of emotions raged through me. I have never felt so raw or scared or elated or happy and these feelings rolled over me in equal waves of gut wrenching fear and unbridled pleasure.

In short, I was a mess and Tom was exhausted. But, we were connected.

Through all of those days Tom was consistent, solid, firm. There were many moments where he could have forcefully railroaded me, he didn’t, he climbed down and found a safe middle ground where we could meet. He knew his was the biggest journey, he would be coming to me. I was stuck fast in my self made bunker, but I was holding my arms up to be pulled out. It was the most steps I’ve taken in opening up to anyone since my too long marriage and subsequent divorce.

The idea of having this beautiful man in my life permanently, thrilled me and terrified me in equal measure and I was running on adrenaline fuelled anxiety for the majority of the time and euphoric ecstasy the rest of it!

He read me well, he coaxed and cajoled and claimed me. He used our bodies to take me where I needed to be. He calmed me and eventually I lay down beside him and climbed in to us. We never spoke about love. That is a mountain of pain still to be climbed and will remain inside the steel trap for the foreseeable future. We are living with no labels to define us.

So tonight, I’m sitting on the sofa in the bedroom, scratching words onto a page in the middle of the night of day 9. I’m writing furiously, scribbling in my journal. Emptying my head. Writing soothes me, it orders my thoughts and the words flow unceasingly.

I write stories, shorts, plots, scripts and my journal. Until Tom sits down beside me, stills my hand and lifts me into his arms and holds me.

‘Can I read it Gem?’ He asks softly, holding my journal.

‘They’re just words. Random image words, feelings, they don’t really say anything. It’s just how I see us, things…’ I don’t answer his question.

‘Can I read it Baby?’ He’s holding the journal open in his hands but his eyes are on mine. He’s searching and asking for permission for me to let him in.

‘It’s not the steel trap thoughts you know, it’s not a window…’ Today had been one of those days where the demons were flying, I’m exhausted and have no thought processes left to explain.

‘Gem?’ He pushes me and raises the journal in a question.

I nod.

He read the pages and pages of scattered thoughts and finally after what seemed like the longest hour ever, he gave me the journal back.

‘Wow. That is… just wow. Why didn’t you tell me you write poetry?’ He’s smiling and I have no idea why. I have no idea what I’ve written and therefore no idea what he’s read.

I cocked my head and raised an eyebrow, ‘Poetry? Me? I don’t write poetry… they are just random thoughts thrown down so I don’t lose the word or a feeling or a phrase. You don’t read them as a poem.’

I was smiling, distracted, his fingers were travelling and brushing my thighs, tracing circles on the sensitive skin at the top. I felt his lips brush my neck and his smile against my skin.

‘You may not think so, but damn baby, they turned me on.’

He found my lips with his and the heat grew instantly hotter.

The ‘poem’ Tom had been reading?

Slow pace,
Shards of pleasure,
delicious flesh tasted
Pinning me, taking me,
inch by inch
Control taken, passion flares
quenching thirst, denying hunger
denial, denial, denial
ecstasy rising, reaching, searching,
fingers driving, abandon climbing
soft low keening, needing, arching
sharp stings, full strokes
throbbing heat
exploding, shattering, spreading,
creeping, skin blooms, heat spreads
submission calling
empty head.

He was all of those things and more.

He bound us together and I’m calmer now. Content. Happy.

Tom Day 4 of 9

Did I really think I could slow things down the other day? Maybe wear Tom out a little? No chance! It’s had the reverse effect and now I have a horny giant bear of a man on my hands and nowhere to hide! I wasn’t really trying that hard to get away from him if I’m honest. It was more about me needing to regroup than slow him down any!

He may be full on but I won’t have him in 6 days time and I need to take what I can from him! All day yesterday, he was utterly relentless and I loved it. Tom like this is mind blowing. The intensity, the eroticism, his innate feel for bringing out my latent sensuality is like nothing I’ve ever known before and I am utterly addicted to him.

There is nothing gentle or vanilla about this thing between us, I have no idea what to call it but it isn’t just sex! It’s a mind blowing, all consuming, full on erotic, sensual explosion between two bodies and it’s animalistic; lip curling, snarling, predator and prey circling each other and the union is stunning every single time. It’s different every single time, it’s exhausting and exhilarating every single time and it leaves us both wanting more.

Which is why it was such a shock when things took a weird turn today. I was stood in the kitchen making lunch when he appeared behind me and startled me. For such a big man, he moves like a cat!

I threw a tomato at him and told him to sit down and stop sneaking around! He caught the tomato, ate it, and then grabbed me from behind and up ended me over his knee. Before I could process what had happened my skirt was up over my hips, my panties were down below my knees and I was being spanked, hard!

I wriggled, kicked, squirmed and demanded to know why I was suddenly taking a spanking!

‘You need one Gemma. It’s that simple .’ Uh oh, full name. He sounded cross, really cross. I struggled against his hold and tried to get off his knee. No chance, he draped his big arm over my hips and held me fast as he tanned my backside crimson with his bare hand. My cheeks were exploding with red hot heat, my thighs were stinging from the continual sharp slaps he was delivering to them. I was howling and yelling and kicking out but to no avail. I was there for 10 minutes and received a sound spanking until I was in tears. I was righteously indignant at the unfairness of it all!

Finally he let me up and I hastily retreated to the other side of the kitchen and relative safety.

‘What was that for? And don’t tell me it’s because I threw a tomato at you!’ I demanded while I rubbed my now very sore behind. I was still reeling from the spanking.

He shrugged his big shoulders and leaned back in his seat. ‘I’m redressing the balance of power, you did a number on me the other day without warning, and I have yet to receive an explanation for it. While I’ve been waiting for that I realised, you never explain anything that’s going on in your head, you expect me to follow blindly and simply accept things. Figured it was time to give you a taste of your own medicine.’

I was silent. He wasn’t playing around here, he really was upset with me. ‘I’m sorry, I didn’t realise .’ I said and I meant it. I walked over to the table and sat down opposite him. I tried to explain. ‘I struggle to be open Tom, you know that about me. I’m not saying it’s right, but it’s the way I’ve always been, I told you that coming in.’

He uncrossed his arms and leaned on the table and held my worried gaze with a clear one of his own. ‘Tell me what the other day was about.’ he said quietly.

I sat back and blew out a small breath and looked him straight in the eyes. He was fuming! I needed to pay attention.

‘It was about me getting ahead of you slightly. You’re like a machine with no off button Tom. Keeping up with you is exhausting, I decided it was time to slow things down without too much fuss. I know you have a high sex drive and I knew what you said about all day every day for the whole 9 days was likely to come to fruition if I didn’t apply some brakes! The other day was my way of withdrawing to regroup without having to do this, sit down and talk it out where misunderstandings can happen, where feelings get brought into it, and things go wrong.’ I folded my arms across my chest and waited.

Now he was furious! ‘You mean to tell me, you couldn’t say, hang on a minute I can’t do that, I’m tired? You couldn’t speak to me about how you were feeling? Why? I have been nothing but open with you, I’m not upset about how the day played out Gemma, I’m truly pissed off that you don’t talk to me!’ He threw his hands up in frustration and sat back in his chair again.

See? This is what I mean, as soon as words get involved in anything, stuff gets messy damn it!

His words stung me and I retaliated swiftly. ‘I do talk to you, more than I’ve ever talked to anyone. I’ve been more open with you than any other man I’ve ever been involved with. I don’t know what you want from me, I can’t just become someone else overnight!’ I was cross now. He wasn’t being fair! I could see where this was leading and I didn’t want to go there.

He didn’t let up. ‘I want more Gemma. I want you to be with me and trust I won’t add to the mess in your head. At least trust me enough to tell me when things are too much for you! Will you at least do that? I hate being the one who has to suck it up and accept that I won’t have a clue half the time about what’s going on.’

I could feel all of my defence mechanisms slamming firmly into place. This was bad. This was very bad. I slammed the brakes on my defences and took another stab at calming the situation down.

‘I’m gonna take you at your word now and say this, I really, really don’t want to do this. I don’t want a heart to heart about my lack of communication skills. I don’t want to open my head up for you to see just how fucked up it is in there, you’ve already had experience of that, surely that gives you some clue as to why I am the way I am!’

He sat back in his chair and he looked like I had just slapped him. Jesus this was getting bent out of shape and no mistake.

‘That steel trap you’ve got going on in your head is driving me nuts!’ His voice was so quiet he scared me. Could he walk away from me because of this?

I threw my hands up in mock surrender. ‘Fine, if I want something I will tell you why I want it that way, I will trust you enough to tell you when its too much, but as far as the steel trap goes? That has been there a lot longer than you’ve been around and it will be there when you leave in 6 days time to go back to your real life. The one that doesn’t include me that is roughly 250 miles away at the other end of the blasted country!’ I was circling the wagons now. I was scared.

I watched his expression change slowly with understanding. ‘You think I’m going to walk away from you in six days and say thanks for everything it’s been a blast?’

‘Aren’t you?’ I was genuinely confused, not once had he intimated that it might be different.

‘Bloody hell woman! I’m not even sure I could walk away in 6 months never mind 6 days! For gods sake! We have something Gem! Something good and I want to stay here with you. I want to get to know the Boy, I want us, but I need you to be more forthcoming with your thought processes and not just leave me out of the decision making. I would like to make this real between us and not just feel like we’re playing out a damned fantasy!’

He wanted a relationship, a real one. I could feel panic building. This was my biggest fear, I hate the concept of relationship, it makes everything unreasonable, it brings with it expectations I knew I would fall short on. I had a past littered with prime examples of just that.

I was crying, I didn’t know I was until I felt a tear splash on the back of my hand. I stared at it for a minute before I looked up at him and said, ‘I can’t do relationships Tom. I break them, usually on purpose. I can’t be anyone other than who I am and it always ends up me not being good enough, or wrong, or I’m too much to deal with…’

He pushed back immediately. He had known that was coming. ‘I don’t give a damn about giving this a name, we are lovers, and we are friends and we are damned good together! That’s enough for me. We don’t have to give this a label Gemma but we do need to discuss how we can carry on past the 9 days and that means you have to open up some and trust me. I don’t want or need you to change! You’re fine as you are as far as I’m concerned! I just want a chance to see where we can take this. I think you do too, but I get it, you’re scared.’

And just like that he was making complete sense again and I began to relax a little. There was a light at the end of the tunnel!

‘So you’re happy to leave the emotional crap out of this, no expectations or declarations of love? We carry on as we are but with more direct conversation about how I’m coping with your full on sex drive and we stay honest and trust each other? That’s what you want?’ That sounded way too easy. It couldn’t be that simple… could it?

‘Yes.’ His reply was succinct.

I blew out a long breath and sat back. Damn it I wanted that too.

‘Okay.’ I said quietly.

He watched me carefully for a moment, ‘Okay?’ he questioned.

‘Okay, you can stay past the nine days, we are lovers and friends and we don’t put a label on what we have for as long as we have it. I will try and be more open. That’s all I can promise. I want us too.’

He moved like lightning! Before I knew what was happening he was out of his chair and pulling me off mine and into his arms. He kissed me deeply and for a long time. He carried me out of the kitchen and into the lounge and before I knew what had hit me, we were joined at the hips again and I was crying as I realised, I really might have met my match this time! I was scared to death but I was more scared of letting him go than letting him in. I held on as he buried himself inside me until I couldn’t think anymore.

Tom was now a permanent fixture.

My 9 days had disappeared and 1 of every day appeared in its place.

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