Hello my lovely peoples, I hope life is treating you kindly.
This is not a happy post, nor will it be a long one. I am exhausted by recent events within my small family unit and there is no let up of the pressures on the horizon.
It’s all a mess. It’s downright scary as all get out and for the first time in my life I am actually scared witless that my Mum isn’t going to be around for much longer.
My beautiful, lively and amazingly spritely 81 year old Mum had a stroke on 25th February which has left her with a loss of sight in her left eye, her speech is badly affected and her left side is very weak. Her recovery has been greatly hampered by the unwelcome arrival of Bell’s Palsy, which has managed to confuse what was a definitive stroke diagnosis. Now the new doctors she is seeing are scratching their heads and wondering on one day if she has had a stroke, and then on another day, whether it’s bell’s palsy, to yet another where they are saying she has had a stroke and has bell’s palsy. I would just like a definitive diagnosis because if it’s just bell’s palsy, she is winning in spades. It is a benign condition that while it looks scary because it mimics the symptoms of a stroke, it is actually nothing to be overly concerned about, there is no real understanding of what causes it, it can just come on for no reason other than it arrives and it can take anything from a few weeks to months to years or never to recover from the facial drop it causes.
Obviously if it is a stroke as first diagnosed, then she could be in a world of trouble. Her age is against her, her general health is against her and she could be left severely handicapped from the symptoms.
I took her to the opthalmist today to find out how badly affected her left eye is, and he can’t tell us because he can’t see behind the eye because of the ointment they are giving her to use on it to stop it from drying out, Her eyelid won’t close at all. The problem is further exacerbated by the cataracts that have appeared almost overnight in both eyes. He will have to wait until she has at least finished the course of treatment with the eye ointment before he can see behind that eye.
My Mum also has a three line pacemaker fitted that has recently started to play up. She had her battery checked the week before her stroke hit and they said she needed it replacing as soon as possible because it was coming to the end of its life. They can’t change it now due to the complications of the stroke.
I probably won’t be around much, I am struggling to run two homes and my Mum’s business, not to mention my own life. I haven’t looked at that in a while but it isn’t in good shape either. Nothing too scary there just a great deal of neglect on my part, I shall get to it all eventually.
Stay well people and I will return eventually with new updates when I can. I might even get on top of everything and have it all running more normally in a few weeks when life settles down a little more. If that happens, I promise you, you will be reading new work from me. I need to lose myself in some fiction for a while, real life is just too damned painful to deal with constantly.
Bye for now …. Gem xx