Just a quick update to let you all know I’m actually doing kind of okay. I am currently residing in a hospital bed receiving chemotherapy and radiotherapy for the cancers that have assaulted my body. I have lung cancer, which has spread to my spinal column and caused a bone compression that was trying to take my back out of the picture. Radiotherapy took care of that one thankfully. I am up and walking about again.
I have had full and complete MRI scans of my entire short little body, I have cancer appearing in a number of spots mainly lung and spinal, but unfortunately there has been a small appearance in the brain. My left side of my body is quite weak and I am not able to concentrate for very long. So, what I have decided to do, is fight when I can fight, sleep when I can’t fight, write when I’m able and mosaic when I can’t write.
I reckon, between treatments and my plan I shall move forward in the right direction every day.
The chemo treatment, the other day was my very first and it has left me foggy brained, exhausted and feeling like I might never think clearly again, I will of course, but the meds added to the mix make your brain think weird stuff.
I’m writing all this down, sans brain fog, because my short term memory is struggling with even basics like remembering names, days, times etc and that’s making me frustrated.
I am going to try and open up a new post, naughty post, a distraction from all my sadness and hurt and fear and pain. Worrying about it is not changing it, not sending it away, nothing will change the abyss of my loss, I shall forever navigate that space and find him. That will always be my intention.
Give me time to write and I’m sure I will find a little story to titillate you. Or, you could help by sending me a prompt, an idea for a story. Just a scenario you would like to read. It’s all good, I need direction right now, so little prompts would be fun.🤩🤩🥳
But, in the meantime, if I can find a fun little way to play, then play I shall. One thing I have learned is this, life does not stand still when we get sick, it speeds up, alarmingly fast and it becomes a huge race. I intend to smile and laugh even through the pain, because that is what my boy and I did all his life. Now is not the time to be a dark serious type, it is time for light and a bit of sunshine to help me through.
Gemma - Journey of Self discovery 
Dearest Gemma, when I saw that your post had arrived I was really happy because I’ve been wanting to hear from you for a while.
I see you are facing your illness with courage: don’t let it get you down. I always carry you in my heart and I hope to convey all my love to you😘💞
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My dearest Luisa, who would have thought a small conversation about Shakespeare would have brought forth such a strong and abiding friendship into the here and now where we both benefit greatly from it. I love the way my world works, I am eternally grateful for those people who stay in it for love.
I am stronger mentally and emotionally than I have been in some time, I have had the space to concentrate on keeping well in order to beat this terrible disease. It is what my son would have fought for and insisted on nothing less from me. I refuse for it to take anymore from my little world. Thank you lovely lady for all of the love you convey and send me daily. Love and light come from powerful places when they have your friends hearts attached to them. 💖💖🥰
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Your beautiful words have sent me a deep emotion! I’m always beside you, dear Gemma, never forget that, even if we don’t write to each other for long periods
I too have been through the experience of cancer and chemotherapy twice and I know one mustn’t let oneself be discouraged because positive thinking is a great help💞😘
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Gem…🌹❤️ What you have gone through would have broken most people already. Your warrior spirit is strong and shining brightly. 💫 I have so cherished the fun times we have shared and look forward to even more. Making the awkward transition to sex, Hmmm, prompts, prompts….a juicy cuckold session with you and your Bull (including a good spanking) is always a favorite 😋
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As always am here for you. I love you and am sending big bear hugs to wrap you in. If I could be there I would in a heartbeat, nothing would keep me from coming to care for you.
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I love your beautiful spirit, my friend. And… I couldn’t agree more. In these hard times, try to find your joy ❤
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Sending prayers your way! I hope they can get the cancer out of your body!
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Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers, always
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