Sleep Paralysis

It isn’t a myth, it isn’t some wandering spook come to visit me, it is NOT a supernatural event or phenomenon. It is a very real and nasty experience that is hitting me almost every night currently and it is being created by my own mind. That’s right folks, my brain is doing me over and I can’t stop it from happening.

No, it isn’t a demon

Have you ever experienced it? It is the sensation of someone or something sitting on the bed, (and you can feel the weight of their presence on the bed,) and laying over you (very bad and freaky when you are sleeping alone) and you literally cannot move a muscle. or speak. You feel as though you are being pushed down into the mattress and held captive by the bedding being held in a tight band around you. You feel terrified as you fight to wake up and scramble to try and move your arms to fight off whatever it is that is laying on you. And, you wake up screaming, and I do mean full on blood curdling, I am being murdered, screaming. But, as soon as you move, the sensation is gone, the fear/terror however is very real and very present.

It has left me exhausted, physically and mentally. I read up about the condition, I searched under night terrors, it came up on our NHS website as sleep paralysis not night terrors, and it is an uncommon occurrence that can afflict a person maybe once or twice in their entire life time. Currently I am on four weeks solid and counting, that’s almost every night, sometimes twice a night for four weeks. The website advises that if it occurs more frequently than the once or twice in a lifetime, you should talk to your doctor because it is being brought on by an underlying medical condition.

It is brought on by stress, insomnia, and PTSD. I deal with all of those conditions on a daily basis.

So, how can it be dealt with? How do I stop it?

Apparently I can take a sleeping tablet that moves me from waking sleep to REM without the paralysis but I can’t afford to take a sleeping tablet in case I need to see to my son in the night. If I have to drive to hospital I can’t be under the influence of medication, I could kill us both. Oh and I shouldn’t sleep on my back. Not very helpful in either case as I sleep on my stomach? It doesn’t mention that one.

So, I am learning to meditate, that isn’t the easy option for me, it requires stillness of mind and I struggle terribly with that. I persevere, but I am fighting with my own mind on all fronts at the moment and I want to scream with the frustration of it all. I have black rings under my eyes that rival a panda and I am short tempered (more so than usual) and irritable, (again more so than usual).

But, I am determined. So, if anyone can offer me any advice or insight into both the condition and how to meditate successfully, I would be forever grateful!

That’s all for now folks… except…

As a footnote: Speaking from a truly atheist viewpoint, I don’t believe in ghosts or spirits. But, and this is where my mind is messing with me, last night, I experienced what can only be described as the phenomenon of the phantom shadow coming at me with mouth agape and sharp fangs on show, something akin to a gargoyle like appearance, or a cat on steroids. I felt it’s breath on my face and could smell it’s breath, it was downright nasty! I lashed out and it disappeared. I felt entirely too stupid for words but my heart was pounding like I had run a marathon. The whole event lasted less than ten seconds. Possibly the longest, scariest ten seconds of my life to date.

That one has freaked me out entirely, because, I know I saw it. I was sat up and wide awake after fighting out of the paralysis. I had just settled back into bed after stomping around the room swearing my head off at the tricks my brain was playing on me, I then calmed down and had a warm water drink to settle me. That was when the mad cat gargoyle thing happened. I have no explanation. I refuse to believe I am going mad, I don’t believe I was hallucinating, the night light was on so the room was not in complete darkness, and… well… fuck it, I don’t know. Feel free to draw your own conclusions! πŸ€·πŸ½β€β™€οΈ

On another thought… I wonder whether my stress is escaping and running amok around the bedroom while I sleep and is then trying to get back inside me when I am beginning to wake? That would explain the manic cat/gargoyle thing, it’s the best explanation I have come up with so far anyway.

Anyway… that really is all for now folks…

Published by gemstrong63

So, One blog year later, I've been spanked, hard! I have spanked myself almost as hard, I have spanked others even harder. I'm now heading for a different road, one that still includes all the best bits of me, all the naughty bits, all the spanking bits, all the hot steamy bits, and I'm creating characters to play out my delightful erotic fantasies, I hope you enjoy the new ride as much as the previous one…

13 thoughts on “Sleep Paralysis

  1. Gemma! πŸ€—πŸ€— Oh, Gemma, I hate to think this is happening to you. I struggle with anxiety and had some insomnia in May. It was a tough time for me. I can imagine it’s not easy for you, hun. I am not a psychologist, so I don’t have a solution, but I do believe in the power of prayer. I pray that whatever is ailing you will vanish, the clouds clear, and you will find sleep and peace and rest! ❀️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I love you Dave, you pray as much as you want for me sweet man, I will take that from you as it comes from the most honest heart I think I’ve ever come across. Thank you πŸ’–πŸ’–

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I’ve had that happen a few times and it is terrifying but I can’t imagine what it’s like to have it happen frequently so, yeah, I’d mention it to my doctor and see what they say about what, if anything, can be done about it.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It is the most awful sensation when it happens isn’t it! It gets to the point where you don’t want to go to sleep.
      I know I should talk to the doctor about it but
      I’m not too good at that Kdaddy. I confess though, even I know my stress is through the roof at the moment and I am being good and doing something about it. I am learning to slow down, say no more often, not take on other people’s problems, even when I know I could help. It’s hard stepping back, but I am taking the sleep paralysis as a warning that my health is suffering. I don’t want a tablet to mask the problem, I need a real life fix that I can manage myself and bring into force. So, meditation is the order of the day and I shall persevere with it until I feel it is helping me. At the very least it is making me sit still! That alone is a remarkable accomplishment for me! πŸ™‚ x


      1. Well, that’s what you tell your doctor! And, yeah, there’s not much else I know about that compares to how that feels. Read about night terrors and all that and the probably causes but who really knows what goes on inside our heads when we’re trying to sleep? Ugh. But keeping your stress in check might help – just know that you don’t have to do it on your own.

        Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m ok sis, I just need some undisturbed sleep and I will be absolutely fine. Bloody cat thing was horrible, the paralysis is horrible but ultimately I know it’s my own brain creating all of this so technically there is nothing to fear but fear itself in this instance. πŸ˜€ xxx


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